Hungry Bear

Padawanlee and I were trying to wait until Baby Bear was 6 months old to start her on solid foods. We heard that it was better because it decreased the chances of allergies arising. Lately, however, she's been getting hungrier and hungrier. At first she was starting to want to eat every 2 hours. Then the time intervals started getting shorter and shorter. Even after eating well, she still seemed hungry. My milk supply was running short and my patience was running short...so we gave in.
I was expecting it to be a difficult affair, just because she's so used to milk being her sole source of nutrition. Despite being extremely messy, she took to it well.
She seemed like she was actually enjoying herself. I would start bringing the spoon to her mouth and she would hungrily attack it. Of course, most of it dribbled down into the black hole supposedly where her neck is...but that is another story altogether.

Mommy Chatter

Baby Bear and I went to a mommies and babies play group last week. Granted baby bear doesn't play much, but she was fascinated by all the older children playing (screaming!) around her. All she did was sit there and observe and listen.

I sat around with the other moms (who had a moment to sit) and I noticed that all conversations were either about their kids, their husbands, other people's kids or other people's husbands. Most of it was beyond me because most of their kids were starting pre-school or kindergarten. There I was with my 5 month old. All I did was sit there and observe and listen.

Is this my future? Will I only talk about my children and my husband? But wait!!! Isn't that what I do now? Somehow in the course of these past 5 months I unknowingly learned the art of "mommy chatter." I shudder at the thought.

The Truth...

I love Baby Bear. That will never change, but sometimes she really starts to irk me. There, I've said it. Does this make me a bad parent?

It's tough. I knew that it would be difficult, but I didn't know exactly how hard it would be. I don't regret being a parent at all, but I just don't understand how it seems so easy for everyone else. Everyone else seems so put together and I feel like I'm so frazzled. Everyone else seems to have these angel children who can do no wrong in their sight.

My baby is no angel baby. I wouldn't want you to get the wrong idea from this blog. Granted, she has some angel moments, but she's not even close to being an easy baby. Just at this moment, she is complaining again because she tipped herself over while playing for the 12th time and needs to be picked up again for the 12th time.

She is, however, a good actor. At church on Sundays, she seems like an easy baby. She doesn't cry much, doesn't complain much, let's other people hold her, plays on her own, sleeps in the stroller, smiles and laughs abundantly... Everyone mentions how she seems like an easy baby. Even when we were in Sacramento visiting the grandparents, they kept remarking how she was such a good baby. The moment it's just me, padawanlee and baby bear, she seems continuously out of sorts.

So I've decided, if anybody asks me how I'm doing as a parent and I'm not feeling entirely in my parental best, I will tell the truth. I won't try to hide it. Perhaps this will help me be a better parent.

And even when my baby is howling for the 2nd hour, I just have to remember how much I love her, how being her parent makes me seek to be a better person, and that perhaps we can learn together how to be patient with one another.

I know...who could get impatient with this bear cub?

Cranky Bear

Oh where did my Happy Bear go? Right now we have a Cranky Bear in her place. I hope it's just because of her teeth...which still haven't come out yet!

This has been an exercise in patience. Patience with the teeth, and patience with the cranky bear.

Speaking of which, last Sunday we dedicated Baby Bear at church. It was good for Padawanlee and I to think about how parenting is not just physical (feeding, burping and changing), but it's also spiritual. It is by our actions and examples that she will be raised spiritually.

We were given a book during her dedication called Sacred Parenting by Gary L. Thomas. I was excited because one of my favorite books on marriage is Sacred Marriage by the same author. The byline on this book is how being a parent shapes our soul.

The author likes to put quotes to start each chapter. The very first quote in the book says, "If it was going to be easy to raise kids, it never would have started with something called labor - Anonymous." What a good way to start the book.

Silent Night...

We don't really live in a quiet neighborhood. Morning is wrought with cars leaving for work, doors slamming, carpools honking, school buses...The daytime brings garbage trucks, construction on nearby properties, sirens from the nearby fire station...People drive by with their music blasting or loud exhaust sounds that set off car alarms as it zooms by. Once school is out, kids are walking down the street, driving by, riding skateboards, yelling to their friends across the way...Even our neighbors are not quiet. Out of 6 apartments, 4 of them listen to music so loud that my wall shakes. Upstairs is the dad always yelling at his daughter who in turn is always crying at the top of her lungs. The next apartment over has the boy who runs from door to door screaming at the top of his lungs. Even in the middle of the night we have this insane cat that cries right outside our bedroom window...

...but for once it's quiet here. For the first time in a few days I can actually hear my own thoughts. With all the noise I didn't realize that I had so much going on in my head.

Still Waiting...

We're still waiting for Bear's teeth to make an appearance. We see them! The points and tips are starting to poke through...but they just haven't quite made their grand entrance. So I counted this morning...there are 3-4 coming in on the bottom and four are making their way from the top! Yikes! No wonder she's been such a cranky bear.

In Daddy's Care...

I'm so tired. Baby Bear is napping less...I'm trying to work with her to nap better, but hunger seems to override her sleep. So her naps are horrendously short...so on top of being tired from feeding her all the time, she requires more attention while awake.

So I needed a little break. Right now, Baby Bear is in her dad's care. It's actually funny to listen to. He decided to read his ESPN magazine to her...Some things I have heard them discussing:

• the joys of the NBA playoffs
• Tennis rackets and grips
• Poker and the meaning of a Royal Flush
• Dirt biking
• Derek Jeter (He was explaining to her how he's Auntie Maisie's favorite player, "because she thinks he's cute...")
• "Hummers are bad! Don't buy a hummer..."

I'm glad that she's got someone patient enough to entertain her right now.

*Growl*

My stomach has been growling all morning. I ate some food, but it's still growling. While I was feeding Baby Bear this morning, my stomach was growling so loudly that Baby Bear kept looking around for the source of the noise. She then responded to the growl. Apparently my stomach is talking to her.