Bear's Heart

It amazes me how Bear, at four years old, could have such a big heart. She just loves so much and wants to share it with everyone.

I see it in the way she cares for her little brother. She follows him around to make sure he's well taken care of. When she gets herself a snack, she makes sure to grab two bowls and share. When he falls down, she's the first one there asking him if he's okay and will run to the fridge to grab a cold pack to soothe him.

It doesn't matter whether you've met her once or played with her dozens of times, she considers everyone friend. She's the first one to ask a new friend to come play, and she's the last to leave making sure that everyone gets home okay.

When she engages in conversation, she makes sure that everyone knows what's on her heart and what she thinks about. She's transparent like that.

When she heard that my grandma had fallen down, she fretted and worried asking me every other hour if "big grandma" was okay.

When her classmate got stung by a bee during playtime, she prayed that night that "no more bees would sting" him. She also kept asking me "why do bees sting people?". I tried to explain how bees protect themselves and how it was an accident, but she just couldn't understand why a bee would want to hurt any creature...even a bear trying to steal a bee's honey.

When her fish passed away, she cried for days just because she felt the loss so strongly...even if he was only around for four days.

When any of our relatives visit, she cries herself to sleep the night they leave, often telling me how much she misses them and wants them to visit again soon ("I miss Grandma/Ying Ying/Yeh Yeh so much...when can I see them again?" sniff sniff)

She spends her quiet time each day coloring pictures and cutting cards that she intends for the various loved ones in her life ("I'm making this picture for Auntie Rochelle, because I love her," she says with a smile).

She has this way about her...this charisma where once she knows you, you're part of her world. She naturally befriends people young and old. She gets a lot of attention...but mostly it's because she gives it, too.

She's just got one of those hearts...bursting with love. I'm blessed that I get to be one of those she loves.

The Tantrum Redefined

Today in his toddler gym class, Chipmunk threw a fit. It was a full-blown, foot-stomping, screaming bloody murder type of tantrum. To avoid the stray eyes of disapproving parents I took my angry little monster outside and waited for the storm to blow over.

In my two years as his mom, I've learned that attempting to calm him down is like trying to stop a nuclear chain reaction. Bribe him with a toy or food? He angrily throws them away. Try a distraction? Nope. He just needs to get the tantrum out of his system.

Of course, as he's yelling/throwing himself to the ground, I can't help feel like I'm being an awful parent. I feel everyone's eyes staring at me and telepathically telling me that I'm going about it all wrong. I feel...judged, but helpless.

I've considered my options: (1) Give in and give him what he wants; (2) Preempt his tantrums by making sure there isn't anything for him to get upset over beforehand; (3) Just let him explode.

Since (1) and (2) feed back into his "explosive" behavior, (3) seems to be my best option. I just have to let him get whatever it is off his chest and then work with him on not getting upset when he is calm. It's just as he is screaming for the fifteenth minute, I'm wondering how much more patience I have left in the barrel, when as suddenly as his fit came on, it ends. This morning after Chipmunk vented, he was able to return to his class almost as if the whole episode never happened, with only tell tale snot trails running down his smiling face.

His teacher, with years more parental wisdom than I, wasn't accusatory, didn't point her finger, just came up and told me that Chipmunk reminded her of her own now 12(?) year old son. She told me that with passionate kids like Chipmunk and her son, we often don't see that their exploding emotions are actually a good thing. She told me that perseverance in a tantrum is the same perseverance when it comes to working hard and getting things done. It just takes a while before we learn to redirect those passions towards a better outlet. Hmmmm...

I think I've been mentally in this "why is he doing this to me?" state, that I'd forgotten that Chipmunk, although pint-sized, is his own person. He feels strongly, loves deeply, and does things in his own way. I have to learn about who he is before I can "redirect" his emotional overflow. As Bear is our mild-mannered, warm-hearted, cautious child, Chipmunk is our deeply passionate, headstrong, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants kid who doesn't hesitate to let you know how he feels. And oh boy does he let you know.

So when all is said and done, he might rant and rave a while, but once he's done, that's when he'll get to the heart of the matter. I just need to be there to listen.

Happy Lunar New Year

Happy Chinese New Year!

Oh, wait, you say something is wrong with the picture above? There's only one kid...not two?

Heh heh...yeah, well we had a little incident trying to get Chipmunk dressed up for the picture.

Let's just say there were enormous fits trying to get him into his Chinese outfit. He saw the red, satiny pants, shirt and hat and just started screaming "NOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"

After some negotiating on our part and Chipmunk continuing to scream his head off, we decided it wasn't worth it (Sorry Great Grandmas...we tried).

What can we say, our two year old has his own fashion sense and shiny, red outfits don't belong in his idea of acceptable wardrobe.

However, wearing buckets on his head...that's considered acceptable. Go figure.

Cartoonish

I was telling Matt today that Chipmunk reminds me of a cartoon character...There's just something about his silly grin and his facial expressions where his "mugshots" are rather...er...cartoonish.



2 months old



3 months old



5 months old



12 months old



22 months old

I swear it's like watching a cartoon grow up. Of course, it's also fun when he throws his head back, laughs really loud, "AHAHAHA!" and then smiles real big and says, "Funny!"

Can't argue with that...he is funny.