The Periodic Table of Huh?

Kids have obsessions. Or perhaps I should say that my kids have obsessions. Even more specifically…my son has obsessions…random obsessions…with things that kids don't normally obsess about.

Chipmunk's latest: The Periodic Table of Elements.

Okay, so now at this point you're probably thinking about how I used to teach science and naturally it's something that I would bring up with my kids…

But really…it's not me.

Yet, every week on Wednesday, Chipmunk comes home from school with 2 new library books, one of them is always on an element. First there was Hydrogen, then Helium and Sulfur. Then came Sodium, followed by Phosphorus, Calcium and Chlorine. Currently, we're reading about the Noble gases.

Each week I'm bombarded with questions:

So if baking soda is sodium bicarbonate, what is a bicarbonate?

If sodium explodes when it gets put in water how come salt doesn't do the same?

Why are some elements radioactive?

How come our bodies are not made with every single kind of element on the periodic table?

Then he proceeds to "quiz" us on how well we know our Element symbols…usually as we're eating dinner. He even "quizzed" our extended family during a brunch a few weeks ago.

Have you ever tried to explain to a six-year-old about why Gold is Au and not G? Yup. I had to brush up on my Latin for that one. Or why some elements decay at a faster rate than others without going into details about electron stability?

So before our conversations were all about Pokemon, now it's all about the Periodic Table of Elements. I'm almost afraid to find out what his next obsession is going to be, because one of these days I'm not going to be able to answer his questions.

Three Hours

…or how I spent my afternoon with my kindergartner.

Three hours. Three hours of listening to my son's ramblings about Pokemon. Three hours of me, trying to show my interest, nodding, and working hard to timely place those "uh-huh"s into the conversation. Three hours of being asked about my opinions on the effectiveness of each Pokemon and how they would do in battle with other Pokemon. Three hours of being asked quiz questions that were made up on the fly asking obscure facts about Pokemon. Three hours of musings and thoughts about how Pokemon do their business (bathroom business) while stuck in a Poke-ball. Three hours attempting to feed my kindergartner lunch and getting him to finish his homework amidst conversations analyzing the pros and cons of Pokemon trainers or guessing where each Pokemon resides.

I'm a bit Poke'd out.

Innocence

I love the fact that my kids are kids. They are naive about many things, and I hope it will remain that way as long as we can help it. There's so much to fear and so many things to protect our kids from nowadays that many times our kids lose their innocence much faster than they should.

This week was Red Ribbon Week at school. So all the teachers were doing their best to encourage the kids to be "drug-free" and such. With all the craziness of Halloween in the same week, I was wondering if Bear and Chipmunk actually retained anything. So at dinner tonight I asked Bear.

Me: So it was Red Ribbon Week this week, right?

Bear: Yes.

Me: What did you learn about during Red Ribbon Week?

Bear: Uh, my teacher just talked to us about how we're not supposed to put bad things like grubs in our body.

Me: Grubs?

Bear: Yeah, grubs. You know, like how smoking is a grub and not good for our body.

Me: (trying hard not to laugh) It's "drugs," not "grubs."

Bear: Oh. Then what's a grub?

Innocence. Gotta love it.

Chlorophyll and Echinoderms

One day when I was in high school, I was walking with a friend to class when I asked if he was ready for the test we were about to take. "Test? What test?!" he said and then frantically spent the two minutes before the test scanning the headings in the chapter. After the test was over, my friend put his head down on the desk and then fell asleep. Our teacher walked by and hit the desk to wake him, all the while shaking his head and talking about students who don't "feel the need" to participate and how it would reflect in their grades.

The next day in class our teacher handed back our tests from highest to lowest scores making sure to point out which students managed to pull a 100%. He called the name of my friend first and did a double-take when he realized that the perfect paper belonged to the kid who he had already decided was "slacker" material.

Chipmunk reminds me a lot of this friend in the fact that he understands a lot more than he lets on. I realized this when he brought up a conversation with me over lunch.

Chipmunk: Mommy, did you know that plants suck in water through their roots and mix with sunlight to make chlorophyll?
Me: You're learning about chlorophyll, are you?
Chipmunk: Yeah. Plants make chlorophyll in their leaves.
Me: Yup. That's right.

Also, lately he's been playing with some old Koosh balls (remember those?) and dragging them around the house calling them his pet "sea urchins."

Me: Pet sea urchins?
Chipmunk: Yes, they're my pet sea urchins.
Me: So, no dogs, cats, or hamsters for you?
Chipmunk: Nope. I like sea urchins.
Me: What is it that you like so much about them?
Chipmunk: They have tube feet and lots of spines.

Sometimes he has literary conversations with his sister. This was their conversation the other day:

Chipmunk: Do you know what a "text-to-text connection" is?
Bear: Yeah. It has to do with when you're reading one book and you see how it says similar things in another book.
Chipmunk: Oh! I was wondering what that was. Like if you read something in a fiction book and you see it also in a non-fiction book?
Bear: Uh, I guess so.

Or our conversations in the car on the way back from a late night at church…

Chipmunk: I wish I had a bed in the car.
Matt: You do. It's called your car seat.
Chipmunk: No, like a real bed that you can activate when you're tired.
Me: (whispering to Matt) Did your son just say "activate?" Where did he pick up that word?
Matt: (shrugs shoulders)

There is just so much going on in his brain. I can't keep up.

Thank God for the Trees

Before our prayers one night I asked the kids what they were thankful for. Bear was thankful for family, friends and for her hard-working dad. Chipmunk on the other hand...

Me: What are you thankful for?

Chipmunk: I'm thankful for deciduous trees that go dormant.

Matt & Me: (blink, blink)

Bear: What did he just say?

Sometimes, you just never know what is going to come out of that kid's mouth. As a side note, he did in fact learn about how apple trees are deciduous in kindergarten that morning, so I'm thankful that he has a great teacher.

Crooked Line of Logic

Chipmunk has some interesting thought progressions. It's evident in many of our conversations with him. Take our conversation this past week as I was cooking dinner.

Chipmunk: (holding up his index finger) I want to touch the fire.

Me: No, you don't.

Chipmunk: Why not?

Matt: (joining in the conversation) You'll burn your finger.

Chipmunk: Will it hurt?

Matt: It will hurt a lot and you won't be able to use your finger for anything like picking your nose, playing with your legos, holding things...

Chipmunk: What about if I use my pinky finger to touch it?

Me: No!

Matt: You need your pinky finger.

Chipmunk: (after a few seconds of thought) Then what finger don't I need?

It's a logical thought process, right? It's just a bit crooked. That's our Chipmunk for you.

Dramatic

In the car a couple of weeks ago my son accidentally pinched his finger in his lunchbox and started fake-howling in pain. After he calmed down, I asked him a question:

Me: Do you know what the word "dramatic" means?

Chipmunk: No. What does it mean?

Me: "Dramatic" is what you call it when you act like something is more than it really is, like when you cry out in so much pain over a tiny little pinch. It's when you act more than is necessary.

At this point, I was patting myself on the back for deftly getting my point across to Chipmunk about perhaps toning down the dramatics. Cut back to the conversation in the car...

Me: So let's try again...you just pinched your finger in your lunchbox, what do you say?

Chipmunk: (pausing for a thoughtful minute before answering)...AAaaaaah!!! My finger!!! It's going to fall OFF!!!! AAAaaaaaah!!! IT FLEW OUT THE WINDOW!!!! I'll NEVER see my FINGER AGAIN!!!!

He then proceeded to cry real tears over how he would never see his finger again all because of his lunchbox.

I, on the other hand, sighed and decided that veiled admonishments just don't seem to have a place in parenting...

Teacher Talks

It always worries me when a teacher needs to pull me aside and discuss something that happened during the day. Of course, I've been finding that the types of things I'm told are really different from one child to another...I won't name names, but you can probably guess which child is which...

Child A

"...had a little argument with a friend which resulted in some tears...not sure what happened, but just wanted to let you know so you can discuss it with your child."

"...got a little frustrated and teared up during the art project."

"... maybe might have been a bit tired, but still did...best to participate."

Child B

"...was standing on a ball and fell face forward into the ground...and that's why we don't stand on balls."

"...was a bit upset about the art project not turning out right and stood up and threw away the artwork. I pulled it out of the trash in case you wanted to keep it and perhaps encourage your child."

"...has been spitting here and there onto the carpet, outside on the cement, and I don't know if spitting is allowed in your home, but...shouldn't be doing that here."

Now, I have to ask...why is it that for all the teacher talks for Child B, it makes me feel like a terrible parent?

Villainous Logic

The kids sneaking around a la secret agent style...

Bear: (talking to her brother) You get to be my henchman.

Chipmunk: Why? Why do I have to be the henchman?

Bear: You have all the pockets, so you get to carry everything.

Chipmunk: Okay. I'll be the henchman.

I didn't know that pockets were a regular requirement for villainy. Who knew?

Love

Tonight before bed, Chipmunk said this to me:

"Mommy, I love you because you're my mommy. I love my sister because she's more fun than my toys. I love daddy because he can pick me up and throw me in the air."

Love according to Chipmunk. So simple. So precious.

Conversations in the Car

Chipmunk: Mommy, my tummy hurts!

Me: Why does your tummy hurt?

Chipmunk: The monster got me!

Me: Uh...okay.

Trouble with Time

Matt went on a business trip for a couple of days to the east coast. So far, barring a few emotional outbursts, the three of us (Bear, Chipmunk, me) all seem to be surviving...which is always a good thing.

Last night Bear asked if we could call Matt, but I told her it was too late due to the time change.

"Time change?" she asked.

I explained as best as I could that where her dad was it was three hours later.

She scrunched up her face in obvious confusion.

"Can we call him three hours later?" she asked still with mental distress.

Again, I explained in as simple terms as possible that her dad was in another time zone and the time there was three hours later than it was here.

She just shrugged and then asked, "How did Daddy get three hours later? Daddy said he was going to Al-la-delf-ee-a (Philadelphia)."

So now she has this strange concept that her dad traveled through time in an H.G. Wells sort of way. Ooops.

Happy belated Father's Day to all you time-traveling dads out there.

Another ha ha moment

Lately, Bear has been enamored with talking on the telephone. This is one of her most recent "imaginary" conversations.

"Hello? Dire Dighter (Fire fighter)? We need help. You coming? You come in the truck. Okay, Dire Dighter. See you later!"

She's not yet three and already imagining about firemen rescuing her. Hmmm.

Chipmunk's latest attempt at talking? "Whooooaaa!" whenever he sees something worth the exclamation. Oh, and "ssssssss" which in baby talk is "cheese" as in whenever Bear points her camera at him.

Silly kids.

Our library visit

Today, at our visit to the library, Bear outdid herself. I couldn't stop laughing at her comments.

On the weather outside:

Bear: Exiting the library "Wow, whatta nithe(nice) day! Nithe, thunny (sunny) day outside."

When you realize perhaps there should be more visits to the library and less television:

Bear: Sitting outside by a water fountain "I see a quirl(squirrel), mommy! A quirl like on tv like on Curious George!"

On being sixteen:

Bear: Getting into the car "I want to drive the car, mommy. I want to drive home."

Me: You know, you're not supposed to drive the car unless you're sixteen years old.

Bear: "Sixteen? Oh, okay."

My Favorite Bear Moments (Spoken)

Bear runs into the kids section at a local bookstore and sees a book with a stuffed unicorn next to it.

Bear: Oooh, wow, Goats!
Me: No, those are unicorns.
Bear: Oooh, wow, CORNS!

Bear gets stuck on a staircase that has a landing in the middle that you can either take another set of stairs back down or take a set to the upper floor.

Bear:(sobbing hysterically) I got lost on da hill, mommy!

Bear converses with the doctor when we take Chipmunk to see her.

Bear: Hi doctor! Baby hurt foot...fix it! Ummm, maybe bandage.

Bear tries to console Chipmunk when I step away for a minute

Bear: Okay, Baby. Good boy. Mommy right back. Here play Sonja...Hey! Don't! (Yells) Moooooommmmmmy! Baby eat Sonja! Now dirty! Needs bath. ("Sonja needs a bath" is what we tell her when Sonja mysteriously goes away and comes back clean a minute later)

Bear singing "Where is Thumbkin?" when she thinks no one is looking

Bear: Where is pumpkin? Where is pumpkin? How are you? How are you? Na na na na day sir. Va ma na ma dank you. Wun away. Wun away.

Bear is getting irritated with her brother playing with her toys and runs over to grab whatever toy he is playing with

Bear: Aaaaaiiiii-yaaaaa! Baby! Not yours!

Yeah, I'm guessing Kai lan has something to do with the last one. I'm a fan of "ai-goo" myself (Korean interjection - for those of you who don't know)

Most of the reason I'm recording these here is because I don't want to forget those little sayings that make me laugh from day to day. I hope that when she gets older I can return here and show her how silly she was at the age of two.

Thoughtless

Tonight I was blessed to escape for a few hours and spend some time sans kids, sans husband. It was girl night. We ate, chatted, and ate some more. We caught up, we laughed, we enjoyed each other's company and I lapped up every precious minute.

I had a problem though: my words were rather incohesive. There I was, my first real adult conversation after giving birth to Chipmunk, and it was like my thoughts and my words weren't coordinating. Plus my thoughts were going every which way. It was like I didn't know how to think properly either (which may be true since I haven't had a good think session in ages). So I would say something, but realize that it wasn't what I was trying to convey...or I would have trouble piecing together words to match the thoughts in my head.

They say you lose brain cells with every pregnancy...I think I lost the ones connecting thought and speech...or I'm just out of practice since I've been in baby/toddler world.

But thanks...to you ladies who forbeared through my stammerings and brain farts. Not only did I get to laugh again but I got to feel normal again...and I know that will refresh me for days to come. (Thanks to Matt, too, for putting the kids to bed)

Eat Hot Dog? (by padawanlee)

I wonder when kids actually learn to read. Yesterday we went to Costco to pick up some supplies before baby #2's arrival and as we pulled into the parking lot Bear commented from the backseat "eat dinner, hot dog". Carina and I looked at each other with a befuddled look comprehending what Bear just said. One, we didn't mention hot dogs at all during the car trip and second, the Costco we were at was not the usual one we shop at. So either Baby Bear can read signs now or she had a strange craving for a hot dog... what do you think?

Bear is Swedish, Yah?

It's fun to ask Bear questions these days. She actually answers. I remember a couple of years ago when I'd be walking through the grocery store and asking Bear questions like, "Should we have pork or beef?" and the most of a reaction I'd get from her was a coo or a smile. I do realize that I talked to myself a lot those first few months of parenthood.

As one who is not well-versed in the art of baby talk, I tend to talk to Bear like she's an adult. Yesterday I caught myself telling her, "You really need to work on your organizational skills." Ha ha...like that's going to happen any time soon (as I groan and pick up a billion toys off the floor while I'm practically 9 months pregnant).

It's just nice to hear an actual response to my questions when I ask them now.

The only thing I'm a little puzzled about is how my toddler came to respond to questions with "Yah" instead of "Yes." She used to use the latter (and I love how she emphatically nods her head at the same time). Recently, she's decided to answer questions affirmatively with "Yah."

Last week a friend came over and asked Bear, "Are you going to be a good big sister to the baby?" Bear bobbed her head up and down a few times and said, "Yah!"

Later in the week I asked her, "Bear do you want an apple?" She responded, "eat appoh(apple), yah!"

Apparently, Bear is becoming European.

Happy New Year!

So it's about 11:00 pm on New Year's Eve and I'm about ready to tuck myself in and drift off into needed sleep. How sad is that? Has counting down to the new year lost it's luster since entering into parenthood? I guess so. The last time I truly remember celebrating the new year was when we rang in 2005.

But I still wanted to wish everyone a Happy New Year! I hope 2008 brings you days of hope, joy and peace.

I feel so lame skipping out on the countdown, but hey if you had 7 hours in the car with this, you'd be tired, too.

Bear: Mommy!

Me: Yes!

Bear: Mommy!

Me: What is it?

Bear: Mommy! Mommy!

Me: Yes! Did you want to tell me something?

Bear: Mommy!

Me: Okay, yes, that's my name.

Bear: Mommy! Mommy!

Me: Are you going to tell me something or what?

Bear: Mommy! Mommy!

Me: Aargh!

Conversations with Toddlers

As Bear continues to develop, I've been finding that conversations with her are becoming more interesting. Sometimes there is actually some substance to our "chats."

For example, yesterday...

Me: Bear, do you need to use the potty?

Bear: No, pah-yee(potty)...change die-ber(diaper). I yike die-ber.

Me: But you're becoming a big girl. You're still my baby girl, but there will be another baby soon and you'll be the big sister.

Bear: Baby? (and proceeds to rub my belly) My Baby?

Me: Yes, the baby will be yours, too.

Bear: (pointing to her belly) Baby here?

Me: No, you don't have a baby. Only mommy has the baby.

Bear: Eji Tales?(Veggie Tales?)

Me: Uh, okay, you can watch some Veggie Tales.

Okay, so she changes the subject quicker than a fox jumping over a lazy dog, but hey, this is the closest to a heart-to-heart chat we've ever had. I'll take what I can get.