Trapped

It's official. We have movement. Chipmunk is combat crawling his way through our home and quickly invading areas of which we haven't re-childproofed. So we've resorted to blockades made of toy bins, chairs and the existing couches. Which makes me laugh at myself because before Bear was born, I was adamant about not having to cage in our child. Yet, once we found our crawling infant getting into places where dirty shoes lie or near electrical equipment, that notion was quickly reneged, just without the fancy gate. So Chipmunk has his little play area and all the more dangerous toys are located outside the "fence."

Now that he's getting some exercise, does this mean he's going to lose his Buddha like physique?

Parking Spot vs. Dignity?

Today the kids and I had a great morning at the Farmers' Market. We saw some friends, bought some fruits and vegetables, played at the playground and took a nice stroll in the sunshine. After changing a diaper and then feeding Chipmunk, we got ready to leave.

Packing the car is no easy task. Both kids need to be buckled in and made sure that all is comfortable. The stroller needs to be disassembled and packed back into the crowded trunk. All diaper bags, purses and such need to be placed back into the car and then last of all, I need to settle in before driving away.

All the while this was happening a young man in a sedan waited patiently for my spot. I felt bad for him having to sit there and wait. But I guess once you commit to a parking spot, sometimes you really want to see it through to the end.

Just as I was about to pull out, a woman in her SUV with what looked like a 4 year old sitting in the front seat (unsafe?) decided to try and swoop into the spot at the last minute. I felt bad for the young man in the sedan so I pulled back into the spot and tried to wave the woman in the SUV to leave. She instead pulled in further.

So the sedan man pulled up next to the SUV lady and told her calmly but firmly that she was unfairly seizing a spot that he so patiently invested his time into. The SUV lady looked at him and didn't respond. Since this debacle was happening at my back bumper, I couldn't leave, nor did I want to lest the SUV lady got her way.

He reasoned again and then the SUV lady pretended not to speak any English. What?! In any language you should get the point when cars behind you are blaring their horns and the person in the parking spot is waving you to move on. I was apalled at the gall of this woman, and even more baffled by the example she was teaching the four year old in the front seat.

The young sedan man then graciously backed off, and the SUV lady, to my chagrin, got her spot. Why oh why do people do things like this? It's just a parking spot for goodness sake!

So SUV lady, if you're out there I have to ask, was it worth it? Was it worth teaching your 4 year old to lie and treat others with disdain? Was it worth causing grief to that many people? Was it worth trading your dignity for a parking spot? Because you know, when that upstanding young man gave you the spot despite all you did, he showed that he had his head in the right place. He earned my respect and proved his dignity. You, on the otherhand, well...I have nothing nice to say, so I just won't say anything at all.

Last to Bed

It's late. I know. This is just how it always is. I'm always the last to bed.

I just need to decompress after each day, and it seems that the length of decompression increases with each child added to the family. So I end up staying up late even though my body so desperately needs the sleep to function the next day.

That's just how it is with introverts. It's nice to be with other people, but afterwards it's even nicer to just be by yourself.

So I read, or blog, or even sew for an hour or so just to unwind before settling in. Then I go about the house, pick things up, turn off lights and head off to bed. Even before I step into our bedroom I detour into the kids room and watch their sweet little faces as they sleep.

Then once I feel that all is well, I'll climb into bed, tuck myself into the covers, and close my eyes. And it's those moments before I fall asleep where I replay my day, analyze my actions, muse in appreciation and sometimes have creative swirls that develop into ideas and plans.

Then after all is said and done, I finally sleep.

Empty Tank

Chipmunk got his official 6 month weigh in today.

19 pounds, 9 ounces heavy (75%)
28 and a half inches tall (95%)
Working on tooth number 7, 8 and 9

Just as Bear did, Chipmunk has been getting some nice nicknames, too.

"Tank" "Little Linebacker" "Man-child" "Bubba"

He's been night-waking the past couple nights...a lot. The doctor concluded that he just wasn't getting enough to eat. I was just feeding him the proper amount according to the books. She said I needed to double it! So poor kid has been starving and going to sleep on an empty tank.

So when we got home I doubled his meal portion and he gobbled it right up! Now he is happily napping on a full tank.

Myself!

Bear's latest rant usually involves her doing things on her own. She'll tell me, "no Mommy, I do it myself!" It's cute, but it reminds me of lessons that took me 30 years to learn...

I ran for student body president when I was in 5th grade. One of the things I wanted to do was fold a bunch of origami cranes and use them as handouts for my campaign. After folding a couple, I found it was too big of a task. My parents and my sister ended up helping me fold hundreds of cranes only after I cried in frustration. I remember my mom telling me, "why didn't you just ask for help?"

Chemistry was never my best subject (probably why I became a Biology major instead) and I remember how frustrated I was with my homework. I think I gave up half way down a worksheet because it just didn't make any sense...plus I had it in my head that my Chem teacher was nuts and didn't teach us a thing about how to work the problems. Instead of asking for help, I failed that chapter. Again I remember my mom helping me with the next chapter and asking me, "why didn't you just ask for help?"

In college I spent more of my time studying trying to learn how to work things on my own rather than use office hours to visit and discuss things with my professors, which probably would have been more beneficial. As a teacher I spent too much time muddling through trial and error rather than asking my colleagues for the best way they found to teach certain difficult concepts. Even when I'm toting around 2 kids and having difficulties, my first instinct is to try and find a way to deal with it on my own instead of simply asking a friend for a hand. That's just the way I am and I know it's not always a good thing.

Even my friends and family are keen to my problem. I often get told, "because I know you won't ask for help..." Of course I wonder if it's pride, fear or just plain stubbornness that makes me overburden myself so.

So it tickles a nerve within me when Bear makes her declaration to do things "Myself!" Of course, I always let her try because I love that she wants to learn, but my 30 years of "should-haves" always pushes me to tell her, "okay, but if you need help, just ask, alright?" And you know what? She does.

Yum Yum in the Tum

Avocado is yum. It makes a great face mask, too!

That's A Sport?

I'm sorry, but I don't understand how synchronized diving is an Olympic sport. Can anyone explain to me why they add this to the official roster but take away baseball and softball?

Food, Glorious Food

Here's Chipmunk getting his first few bites of rice cereal.



He's been waiting for this day for a long time.



Ah, finally. Real food at last.

In Over My Head

With 2 kids in tow, VBS is here again and I'm back in the crafts center leading 120 kids to glue, cut and color. It's been...well, it's been interesting. Perhaps I'm just a little bit crazy...especially since I've left my almost 6-month old in the care of a 14 year old. And I felt totally crazy as I was running from the crafts center to feed my kid quickly before the next group came in for instruction. Add on the stupidity that I've been feeling lately (I actually addressed someone by her husband's name today...how? I don't know) and somewhere I've found myself completely in over my head.

At least I feel like I'm floundering.

Besides that it's just been a crazy week...It's been emotional as I've been hearing about multiple painful events happening in the lives of my friends. There was a joyful wedding that I got to help celebrate. A goodbye party for my sister and a tearful send off as she drove off to her new home far, far away from here. A reunion with friends and catch up, seeing some visitors from afar who I haven't seen in over a decade, a quick visit for the kids with grandma and then headlong into a busy, busy week of VBS, all after barely recovering from our trip to Lo-Cal (as a friend of mine has dubbed it).

I won't even go into what's on our plate for next week.

But ya know, it is what it is...and despite my hopefully temporary insanity, it's being done and what I thought was going to be impossible with two kids, has moved into the category of somewhat doable. I'm there, I'm leading crafts, and so far neither of my kids have turned their heads to me and said, "you're such a terrible mom and I can't believe you're dragging us around like this!" Bear actually ran up to me in the middle of the day and gave me a quick hug and then ran off to join her little friends in a game of hot potato with the "big bouncy ball (she said with a face full of glee)." Chipmunk even managed to nap for over an hour despite the noise and many distractions.

It's been a validating experience. Despite a few of my fumbles (miscalculating numbers of craft supplies and forgetting my classroom management style) we made it to Wednesday of which I was imagining all hell breaking loose on Monday.

So I'm in a little deep, but thank God for that snorkel (um, metaphor). That's what seems to be keeping me going.

In Need of Brain Food

The hardest thing I've been dealing with since Chipmunk has been born is this feeling of stupidity day in and day out. It's an "oh-my-gosh-I-can't-believe-that-slipped-my-mind" kind of stupidity. I used to "tsk" at people who I thought were lacking common sense, but you know what, somehow I've found myself right there, being that of which irks me. I used to pride myself for being organized (mentally, not physically) and being able to remember the lists of things I needed to accomplish. I was the go-to person in our house when things were lost. Somehow I always knew where things were.

These days, I am constantly slapping the heel of my hand to my forehead because of something else "stupidity" made me do.

I know, I know...I have two kids. I have an excuse for being scatterbrained, or at least that's what people tell me...Or they say, "but you just had a baby," like that's supposed to make me feel better for the fact that I said "Ooops" one too many times in a 24 hour period.

It's not just the dishes(count is at 8 now), it's the shopping trips where I take written lists with me and I come home with only 75% of the list because I forgot to look at the bottom of the paper (yes, the lists were written by me). It's the way I search the house up and down each day for my keys and find that I already retrieved them and put them in my pocket. It's when I change one of the kids diapers twice because I thought I changed the other one first. Stupid, stupid, stupid (currently hitting forehead with palm).

"I feel like I can't do anything right," has become my number one complaint to Matt these days. This being said as I've forgotten to pay some bills, bumped the car into a pole, or burned dinner to a cajun crisp because I thought I turned the burner off when I actually didn't.

See? Totally lost it. And it's driving this semi-control freak a little batty.

So please, if you see me and I've become the clueless woman walking down the street with toilet paper stuck to her shoe, just kindly slap me upside the head and tell my brain to "wake up!" I do miss her.