Myself!

Bear's latest rant usually involves her doing things on her own. She'll tell me, "no Mommy, I do it myself!" It's cute, but it reminds me of lessons that took me 30 years to learn...

I ran for student body president when I was in 5th grade. One of the things I wanted to do was fold a bunch of origami cranes and use them as handouts for my campaign. After folding a couple, I found it was too big of a task. My parents and my sister ended up helping me fold hundreds of cranes only after I cried in frustration. I remember my mom telling me, "why didn't you just ask for help?"

Chemistry was never my best subject (probably why I became a Biology major instead) and I remember how frustrated I was with my homework. I think I gave up half way down a worksheet because it just didn't make any sense...plus I had it in my head that my Chem teacher was nuts and didn't teach us a thing about how to work the problems. Instead of asking for help, I failed that chapter. Again I remember my mom helping me with the next chapter and asking me, "why didn't you just ask for help?"

In college I spent more of my time studying trying to learn how to work things on my own rather than use office hours to visit and discuss things with my professors, which probably would have been more beneficial. As a teacher I spent too much time muddling through trial and error rather than asking my colleagues for the best way they found to teach certain difficult concepts. Even when I'm toting around 2 kids and having difficulties, my first instinct is to try and find a way to deal with it on my own instead of simply asking a friend for a hand. That's just the way I am and I know it's not always a good thing.

Even my friends and family are keen to my problem. I often get told, "because I know you won't ask for help..." Of course I wonder if it's pride, fear or just plain stubbornness that makes me overburden myself so.

So it tickles a nerve within me when Bear makes her declaration to do things "Myself!" Of course, I always let her try because I love that she wants to learn, but my 30 years of "should-haves" always pushes me to tell her, "okay, but if you need help, just ask, alright?" And you know what? She does.