Grandma or Granny?

I read an article on MSN today that I had to send to my mom right away. I thought it was interesting and just so very applicable for my mom. You see, it's weird enough to me that I'm a mom, it's equally or more so odd for my mom to consider herself "grandma". I guess it is true that the face of grandmothers today are changing. Look out world, here come the fashionable, hipper grannies. No more apron wearing, cookie baking, Talbots wearing types, but the internet savvy, cell phone carrying, Louis Vuitton carrying types. Here's to you, Granny!

Daddy's Little Girl...

Is this a common occurence? Do all dads like to poke fun with their children?

Help Daddy! I can't see!

Help Daddy! Where are my arms?!?!

I guess it shows that he loves his little girl. I just wonder what she's going to say when she gets older and sees all these pictures of him playing around with her helpless self.

And Add to the Difficulty of Parenthood...

We found out this week that our baby bear needs to wear a hip harness for 6 weeks. She has something called hip dyplasia. My poor baby. She's not going to be happy about it at all, but at least we know that it's going to help her. I just hope she adjusts fairly quickly. She loves kicking her legs around and she hates being bound (like in swaddling). So far when she realizes that she can't kick her legs, she cries in frustration. It's supposed to not hinder too much with her everyday life, but it makes clothes and diaper changes take longer. Plus, she can't wear a lot of her clothes anymore...she's stuck to onesies, t-shirts and sleepers.

Here she is!

I keep thinking,"she's not even 5 weeks old and she's been through so much,"but in truth it's all three of us that are going through this together. We are going through this as a family. And that's what's important...to stick together as a family.

To Be Carefree...

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be completely carefree? ...to have no cares in the world but to meet your most basic needs...to have no time restraints...to have no obligations whatsoever in life?

I think that every time I look at our baby bear. She takes the longest time to eat, but that's okay because she has no time restraints. She fights going to sleep, but that's okay because she has no cares but her own. She just does what she wants to do when she wants to do it, and that's okay because she has no obligation to anyone or anything.

This is hard for me. I have time restraints. I have responsibilities to take care of. I have obligations and lists of things that need to be done. My mind is constantly thinking about the next thing that needs to get done.

Then I have to face the facts that my obligation is to our baby to make sure she is fed, changed, and sleeping well. My desire is to help her learn to take care of herself, but that's going to take time and right now she needs to live her life free of constraints. I can only control so much.

Good Morning Sunshine...

Ah, morning...the birds outside are chirping, the sun is starting to rise, and the daily commuters are starting to make their coffee, read the newspaper and leave with their briefcases for another day at work.

Ugh, I'm not a morning person. Never have been, and I'm not sure if I ever will be. Yet, for the past four weeks now I've seen several shades of morning. There's the early-morning, the early-early-morning, the really-early-early-morning, and the so-early-morning-it's-still-practically-night-morning.

Normally I'd be the first to grumble having to get out of bed so early. This morning I didn't grumble. I actually smiled. I went and picked up my crying child, kissed her on the forehead and wished her "good morning" and meant it.

Why? It's a new day.

First Bottle...

I'm currently hiding right now. Our baby girl is getting her first bottle today. They say that it's better for mommy to hide out of sight and smell. So daddy is pretending to be surrogate feeder. I read all these stories about babies not taking to the bottle and only wanting to be breastfed. So we prepared as best as we could. We woke her, made sure she was hungry, but happy, warmed the bottle, put on a bib, set her with dad and I promptly disappeared. I waited for cries of agony.

I heard her cry once and I thought, "Oh no, this isn't going to work." I heard a couple more cries for a minute or two, but suddenly it got quiet. Then I heard, "Uh, she's almost done with this one, we need more!"

I guess the bottle experience wasn't as bad as we thought it was going to be. Go dad!

Living for the Weekend...

As a teacher, I live for the weekend. Not that I don't like my job, it's just that dealing with 200 high schoolers for 12 hours a day for 5 days straight can really wear you out. Once that school bell rings on Friday afternoon, you know that you're that much closer to the weekend.

The point is, I didn't even realize that it was Saturday today. If it wasn't for daddy being on his work schedule, I don't think I'd ever know what day it was. Everyday feels the same now. There isn't much different between Wednesday and Sunday these days. My days are full of diaper changings, feedings, and calming a crying child. Sometimes I get to go out. Sometimes.

If it weren't for the sunshine, I don't think I'd know the difference between day and night either.

At the Speed of Light...

These past couple of years have been a blur...my life today is completely changed from my life 3 years ago...and it's funny, because I don't deal with change all that well. I didn't realize that until one night in 2003 when my roommate at the time divulged that information to me. Yup, when change happens, my first instinct is to run and hide. My second instinct is to shut down and not deal with the change in my life.

Seriously, life has been moving at the speed of light (at least that's how I feel). In 2003, I was in school getting my teaching credentials. At the end of 2003 was when my husband proposed, so wedding planning was in full swing in 2004, plus I was student teaching a bunch of junior highers. After that, things moved even faster. I got my credential, I got a new job, got married, moved to a new place, had to deal with living with a boy...you name it, it changed. In 2005, dealt with a family death, a change in job for my husband, and finding out...tada...that I was pregnant. From that point on, we dealt with pregnancy, morning sickness, getting a baby room ready, doctors appointments, etc. And now that it's 2006, we have a little girl, who changes every single day.

So you must be wondering how I dealt with all these changes...perhaps it was all in God's plan for everything to change so suddenly. That way, when this baby came into my life, I would have already dealt with so many changes, another one wouldn't even phase me. And it hasn't. I haven't had the urge to jump under the covers and hide from the world at all.

So perhaps God does know what He is doing...:)

Life is Short...

We received some sad news in the Lee household today. Our baby's great-uncle passed away last night suddenly. Although I haven't spent an extended amount of time with him (he's my husband's uncle, and I've only had the privilege of spending 2 holidays with him), I feel a great sense of loss. I have this empathetic personality where nobody cries alone. Even if people around me aren't crying, if I sense their grief, I will cry for them. My husband doesn't cry, but I feel his pain, and I guess I served as his physical expression of grief today.

So, Uncle A, I'm sorry that I didn't get to spend more time with you, and I'm sorry that our baby never got to meet you, but I hope that you've found your way home into the arms of our Lord and Savior. We thank God for the life He gave you.

The Long Endless Nights...

Help! I'm so tired, but I can't go to sleep. Baby Bear gets these spells (mostly in the middle of the night) where she just won't go to sleep. They kind of go like this: (1) She wakes up from a 4-5 hour slumber (2) I feed her, but she falls asleep after 10 minutes (3) I try to wake her and she just grunts at me (4) I change her diaper, her clothes and set her down somewhere to get her to wake up (5) She ends up sleeping for about 10 to 20 minutes (6) I get settled thinking she'll continue sleeping and (7) she wakes up asking to be fed more.

This usually goes on for about 4 or 5 hours. By the time the end of it comes, she's tired and I'm tired, but she still won't go to sleep. I've tried letting her cry (which some books say should put her to sleep eventually), but she will cry persistently for 30 minutes to an hour. I've tried a pacifier because other books say that some babies just have a need to suck. She spits it out because it doesn't provide her the milk she so desires. I make sure to wake her every 2 and a half to 3 hours to make sure that she gets in all her feedings during the day, but she still has this battle with me every night.

Now, I guess I can't really complain. After all, I hear that some babies are just fussy or they have colic so they end up like this all day. Perhaps Baby Bear is just a slow eater and needs to take her time...If this is so, she takes after her dad, padawanlee.

As one of the nurses told me in the hospital, "there's a reason why God made babies so cute...that way, you just look at their tiny features, their little smiles, and you forget what it was that you were so frustrated about a few minutes ago."

Daddy says this is how Mommy sleeps, too.

Learning to Communicate...

If you've ever had the experience of trying to figure out a newborn, then you'll understand how I feel. It seems like a day to day process of figuring out what it is that she needs from me. I'm starting to cue into her little ways of communicating, but sometimes I wish she could just tell me what she needs at that moment. Here are some of the ways I know what she is feeling:

1. Hungry - When she's hungry she wrinkles her nose, cries in short little spurts and eats her hand.
2. Wet - She cries and wiggles her body uncomfortably.
3. Satisfied - When she is satisfied with her meal, she has this happy little sigh, which I love to hear.
4. Mildly uncomfortable - When she gets moved while sleeping, or feels the cold wipey against her tush, she makes this little grunt noise.
5. Really uncomfortable/Scared - She cries louder and more consistently than normal (of which her cries really aren't that loud) and pouts her bottom lip.
6. Playing - She makes these short little "ah" noises when she plays. Most of the time it's when she is lying down next to her dog Spot. It's like she's having conversations with him.

Little by little everyday...

3 Weeks and Counting...

I remember being tired in college after spending "all-nighters" finishing O-Chem lab reports, or studying for those midterms or finals, or even finishing up term papers that would sum up my grade for the whole quarter/semester. I've never been this tired before though. Despite my constant weariness, I've never felt this kind of joy before.

Welcome, Baby Bear. Our new endeavor in life. The new love in our life and sweetest person we know.

So yes, we have our sleepless nights. And yes, we're learning each day more about her needs and her special little quirks. And each day we come to see how wonderful it is to have a newborn in our life.

So excuse me if I nod off during the middle of my post...I'm a little tired.

All things new...

It's January and the start of a new year. With the new year comes changes. Lots of changes. Perhaps too many for me to count. I start this blog after much hemming and hawing (because it's just not one of those things that I would do - that is, start a blog), but here I am sharing my thoughts and opinions for anyone to see.

Part of it is because I've been cooped up at home for too long and I'm in need of communication with the outside world. It sounds sad, I know, but really there is a good reason for it. The other part of it is that as I've been cooped up at home, I find I've been reading blogs written by many of my friends (the internet being my window into the outside world). In a way, I feel a little guilty for not reciprocating.

So here's to "all things new." May the changes prove to be blessings to us all...