The Next Stage...

So despite what we all think when we're toting around an infant, with lack of sleep and constant diaper changing muddling our thought processes, things really do change. Our little ones grow up and suddenly you find your home diaper-free and your car, stroller-free. Really. It does happen.

Your purse does not double as a diaper bag.

Your kids buckle themselves into the car.

You don't have to pack a change of clothes...or three.

You can sleep in a bit while the kids feed themselves breakfast.

The songs stuck in your head aren't from Disney Jr. or Nick Jr.

Your day's schedule is not structured around naptimes.

Your voice goes down an octave back to what it once was.

You can use sarcasm, and your kids get it.

Household chores can be completed while you sit, sipping coffee (as long as you've delegated properly).

I'll be honest. I never thought I'd get to this point. Parents with older kids kept telling me how things would change eventually. So many times I heard how the stress of parenting an infant/toddler would soon pass and although there would be different struggles ahead, in some ways parenting would get easier. Of course, amidst juggling a colicky baby and a short-napping toddler, this concept was just unfathomable. I would watch moms of older kids and wonder how they could be so calm amidst the chaos of parenthood...

But now, I kind of see why that is...My days are not filled with exploding poopy diapers, translating toddler speak, cleaning up after kids who like to dump everything out again, learning how to selectively listen to crying, leaving the house with fifty billion "necessary" items, figuring out how to pack groceries in the car amidst the strollers and paraphernalia...etc...

I've hit the next stage...and in some ways I like it here.

Slowly I've changed parental gears, and all those issues I faced only a couple of years ago seem almost distant and blurry...so much so, that the anguish I felt at the time is hazier, and the struggles seem mild, when at the time I felt they were catastrophic.

Of course, perhaps that's just how it is in life...the drama is greater in the present than it is in the past. As long as we look backward with a teachable spirit, willing to grow, moving onto the next stage isn't such a bad thing...

Then again, seeing that the teenage years are ahead somewhere...perhaps I shouldn't speak too soon.

One on One

I read this article and immediately sent it to Matt to read (By the way, the Simple Mom website is one of my favorite blogs to read). I know that I tend to "herd" my kids around, and I've only got two. So we tried some one-on-one time. Matt took Bear to a baseball game and I took Chipmunk out for pottery painting and yogurt eating.

Bear was a bit hesitant when she heard "baseball game" as the destination for her daddy-daughter night. It turns out she had a great time. She came home chattering about how good the garlic fries were (which happens to be the only reason I go to ballgames) and how far the balls got hit.



Chipmunk, on the other hand, couldn't contain his excitement and was bouncing nonstop from the moment we decided to go paint pottery. He talked endlessly on the way out to our destination. He chattered on an on as we painted pottery. He chattered more as we walked around from store to store (we were at a mall). His constant questioning only stopped so he could shove frozen yogurt into his mouth. I was amazed at how much he had to say...



Later, I asked Chipmunk, "Would you like to do this again sometime? Except perhaps next time you can have a date with Daddy and I'll take your sister out?"

He smiled excitedly and said, "You mean have a boys night?!"

Before I knew it he was up out of his seat, jumping up and down, yelling, "YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"

Perhaps there is something to this one-on-one thing...

Medical Mystery

Matt went to bed last night after dosing himself with some Nyquil trying to shake off the chills. I managed to put Chipmunk to sleep despite his head congestion and inability to breathe through his nose. Bear woke up at about 10:30 whimpering on and off because she was having trouble with her stuffy nose and couldn't comfortably fall asleep again for hours

Me? I'm quite well.

It's a medical mystery to me. I'm always healthy and my family is wheezing up a storm around me. I get the least amount of sleep, too. If anything, I should be the one who is sick all the time. It doesn't make sense to me.

My optimistic friends always tell me, "what's wrong with that? That's a good thing because then there is someone to take care of the rest of the family." True. If I was sick with the rest of them, I'd still have to take care of them all, just feel miserable while doing so.

I was sick a lot as a kid. Perhaps that has something to do with it. It got to the point where people stopped taking care of me because I already knew how to take care of myself. Whenever I came down with something, I got the, "oh she'll be fine-she's always sick" response, whereas my sister would complain of a stomach pain and they were plotting which route to take to the hospital. Then again, she just didn't get sick that often. Now she gets sick everytime she hangs out with my kids. Go figure.

So for the next couple of days and nights I'll be taking care of my family. I just hope after they're healthy again, they'll let me sleep for a couple of days.

Utterly Incapable

Today I hit my breaking point...literally.

I broke my 7th dish since Chipmunk was born.

I've been saying we needed to make more room in our cupboards, but this is not what I meant.

It's things like this that make me feel so utterly incapable.

Apparently, parenthood just has a way of doing that.

Sigh.

Two against Two...and then some

It's two against two. Two parents versus two kids. I've heard parents discuss their choice on having only 2 kids with their reason being that once the third comes, the kids outnumber the parents. Right now our family is at a stalemate. If Bear needs something and I've got Chipmunk in hand, she gets directed to her dad, or Chipmunk gets dropped off with dad so I can attend to the Bear. It's a constant dance of "tag, you're it!" with the kids floating between us.

Then again during the day when Matt is at work, it's a whole different scenario. I have no one to pass off a kid to, so I'm juggling both of them at the same time. Of course trying to put 100% focus on two places is impossible so sometimes you miss things.

I just keeping thinking about how in the world I'll be able to keep tabs on both kids when Chipmunk becomes mobile.

Speaking of mobile, I loved how Bear pretty much stayed in the same place until she was 7 months old. Chipmunk gave Matt and I a scare one day when we found him napping like this:



He was two feet from where he started! I guess I really better start putting him down for his naps in his crib from now on.

Liars

My mom always tells me that our kids have this knack for making liars out of us. I often write about how my kids are little "troublemakers," yet when we go out, or are in the midst of other people, my kids are little angels. Bear, of course, is the charmer, smiling her cute little smile, waving hello, sharing Sonja, and of course, being her wonderful little self. Chipmunk is super-mellow, smiles at anyone, and loves to chat up a storm if you get him in the right mood.

So no one but us sees the pouting, crying, temper tantrums, whining and all in all everyday fussing. I guess if there are no witnesses, then we can't prove we actually have 2 little "troublemakers." I guess we'll just have to live as supposed liars.

Accidental Troublemaker

Since Chipmunk has been born, Bear has been getting into trouble...a lot. The problem is she's not jealous or acting out towards him. She's just trying to be helpful...or playful...or she's just curious.

I found cookies all over the floor today. She was trying to sort them into two bowls because she wanted to share her cookies with me. Later I heard Chipmunk start wailing. I found him with a stuffed dog on his face that Bear left for him to "play" with. I scolded her later for pushing me as I was changing Chipmunk's diaper, but really she was making room for herself so she could watch. Just a few minutes ago, she was trying to share the remote with her brother but instead conked him on the head accidentally. Last night at dinner she spilled a bowl of food because she was determined to "help" daddy and serve him some potatoes.

It must be rough being a toddler, not really understanding what all these rules are for and people constantly telling you "no" all the time. I try to allow her the freedom to grow, to help her use her creativity and explore through her curiosity, but I find myself having to referee some of her endeavors. Telling her to sit down when we eat, reminding her that baby brothers need their space, and how sometimes we don't want a third helping of salad on our plates are just a few of the things I tell her daily.

She discovered the bouncer works great as a catapult, problem being Chipmunk tends to be the object she tries to catapult. One day she happily yelled, "hat!," while playing with plastic measuring cups and even tried them out on Chipmunk's head. She then yelled, "hammer!" which followed with an ear piercing 11 week old's cry...needless to say a timeout followed. She wants to give her brother a hug and instead of lightly embracing she pulls and tugs at him in an attempt to hold him herself, while we're trying to make sure she doesn't pull off an appendage.

She's slowly learning...and I guess this is just how kids learn that there are boundaries and limits...which in my mind are truly hard to set. I realize that there are some rules that are more important than others. Those regarding her safety and of others around her are most important. I'm also a stickler for rules that promote family togetherness and those that teach manners and politeness. It's just so hard to see her tear up because, well, she meant well, suddenly feels guilty for making her brother cry, and now she's being punished? Poor kid. I hope she'll understand someday soon.

Deprivation and Reward

When you lack something, it helps you appreciate it all the more when it comes.

Last night I got to sleep for 3 and a half hours straight. Wow, it felt great. Yup. Chipmunk slept for a 4 and a half hour stretch.

More of a schedule is finally settling in. Chipmunk actually gave us 2 colic free nights.

And the snot? Well, that's starting to lessen as well.

Aaaah.

Then again, we won't know what will happen tomorrow.

(Sorry, haven't posted any pictures...well, because my children were snotty)

Surviving

It's been rough. I won't lie. Having 2 sick kids takes a lot out of you. Bear wakes constantly at night and is super tired and cranky during the day. She also has these nice canker sores which she complains about constantly and keeps her from eating. Chipmunk has trouble staying asleep and has trouble eating with his stuffy nose (along with his bouts of crying for hours). Both of them have had fits of coughing and our humidifier has been on constantly. Gratefully there are no fevers...just a lot of snot.

But we're surviving...snot and all.

On the other hand, I've been super industrious. Well, some women shop when they're having a rough time. I clean. I don't just vacuum and wash dishes. I rearrange furniture and scrub grout between tiles with old toothbrushes.

I should be sleeping though...and perhaps I shouldn't be moving furniture either.

Numbers

30 - the number of minutes it takes to pack 2 kids into the car

19 - the number of times I told Bear to stop waking up her brother this morning

17 - the number of diapers I changed yesterday

9 - the number of times Chipmunk woke up out of a sound nap suddenly, usually from snorting (stuffy nose)

8 - the number of times Bear lost Sonja and ran through the house screaming for her

6 - the number of dirty outfits I changed yesterday

5 - the number of hours Chipmunk was up last night crying

4 - the number of Curious George episodes I had to watch today

3 - the number of hours of sleep I got last night(in 3 different parts)

2 - the number of kids in this house with colds involving stuffy noses

1 - the number of tired moms in this house

Falling Asleep Standing

I took a Humanities class during my freshman year of college where the most interesting part of the class was seeing how many people were sleeping through the lecture the morning after a paper was due. One time, there was this poor soul who obviously ran to class to turn the paper in time, was too late to get an actual seat, ended up having to sit on the steps of the lecture hall, where he promptly fell asleep and snored loudly (to the amusement of those sitting around him) throughout the hour and a half of lecture.

Ah, sleep...so very necessary...yet so fleeting when you've got a newborn.

This time around I've been trying harder to get rest when I can...especially with our little Chipmunk who has daytime and nightime reversed...so he's up all night, and come morning, up rises Bear who needs my attention as well. So my sleep has been short and sporadic. I think if I had to sit through a Humanities lecture right now, I'd be the one snoring.

Granted, Chipmunk is more predictable since he's our second kid...we're able to read him better than we could as new parents with Bear...so it's not as frustrating...just more sleep depriving. I'm amazed that Matt can get up to go to work at 6:30 in the morning after a night of sleeping in a chair with Chipmunk in his lap.

So, I'm afraid that one of these days I'll catch myself falling asleep while standing. Now that would be something to see.

Hard, Easy, Hard, Easy...

No, I'm not writing about eggs...

A couple nights ago a father of four told me that in his experience (and also comparing with some other parents that he knew) the first child is always hard, the second is easier (emphasis on "er"), the third is again hard, and then the fourth is easy.

I thought about that for a while and then I wondered, "Is Bear hard or easy to raise?" We know the answer is "hard" but apparently appearances can be deceiving. We've heard way too often about how Bear seems so easy...ha ha ha...that's funny.

But if Bear is an easy child to raise and we've just been overdramatizing everything in our heads, then does that mean we are going to give birth to a little hellraiser in a couple of weeks? I don't know if we are ready for that.

How in the World?

These past couple of days have been kind of a nightmare cramming for potty training. I wasn't planning on potty training for a while, but somehow...and Matt and I are just so confused about the whole thing...somehow Bear decided to start potty training herself. Seriously. No joke. Not even exaggeration for effect.

A couple of days ago, as I was changing Bear's diaper, she told me she needed to go. I was taken aback. After a couple of seconds I snapped back to sense and ran her to the potty. After a minute or two, she happily held out her hands and said, "aw dun" (which means "all done"). And sure enough her potty was full...(number 1 if you must know).

I was stunned...and totally UNPREPARED! I was trying to decide what to do next. So I firmly told Bear to stay seated and ran to get a diaper and wipes. Of course, when I returned 5 seconds later, I found Bear standing up with one foot in her potty (ew!).

Okay, so she's not fully potty trained or anything, but this wasn't a one-time-only performance and number 1 hasn't been the only thing I've found these past couple of days. And in the meantime, Matt and I are just watching with astonishment...mostly because we're not sure what to do next...or how she learned about using the potty in the first place.

So if you catch us in the next couple of days and we have these befuddled looks upon our faces, you'll know why.

Fear of Flying

The title should read "Fear of Flying with a Toddler."

We haven't taken Bear on a plane ride yet. This Friday will be the first time. We're a little wary. Of course, I shouldn't worry too much seeing how most of my fears in the past were abated because of our worry-free, happy-go-lucky child...but nevertheless, I worry.

I don't do well on planes. Never have. My mom tells me horror stories of my plane rides. I remember living some of those horror stories. I must have had terribly bad inner ears, because I could not stand the pressure change going up and down on the plane. Add on top how easily I succumb to motion sickness, and plane rides were never easy.

But so far, Bear has proven that although she may look a lot like me, she doesn't act a whole lot like me (and we're still trying to figure out who she does act like). I am an introvert. She is a total extrovert. She loves pink, fluffy things. I don't really enjoy pink & fluffy too much. She loves putting on jewelry and socks and carrying purses. I just don't have that knack for accesorizing.

So perhaps she'll be just fine on the plane...she'll eat snacks, drink some juice, make friends with the rows of people around her, and arrive at our destination happily...and I'll have worried for nothing.

Toddler Strategy

Matt and I have been more and more tired these days. Raising a toddler sometimes feels like you are raising a herd of wild animals. But not just any wild animals...wild animals who strategize and game plan. We've come to familiarize ourselves with some of Bear's tactics.

The Bait & Switch: Once bathtime is over, we have a toddler who does not want to come out of the tub. Her tactic, when we reach in, she quickly pulls the switcheroo by grabbing our hands and pushing a rubber ducky in instead.

Misdirection: Bear knows which household items she shouldn't play with (namely: the bathroom cabinets). Her strategy is to point us towards her room as if she wants to play there. Once we enter, she asks us to retrieve an item. Once our back is turned, she makes a beeline for the bathroom cabinets. Tricky.

Misinformation: This is similar to misdirection, except it involves the phone. Bear hands me the phone, cries out "Da Dee" (yes, she finally started calling daddy something other than his first name). After asking about 10 times, I call Matt, but by the time Matt answers, Bear is halfway across the apartment making mischief. And I feel like a sucker.

Emotional Manipulation: I don't know how she does it, but this kid can get about anything she wants. She seems to know the right emotion to "act" for each person she comes in contact with. With "Da Dee" she gives him the "oh-so-cute" smile and giggles, races up to the door to greet him when he comes home, and promptly will ask him for something that I just told her "no" to about 5 minutes ago. With Auntie R, she is utterly persistent. She will repeat herself over and over again, until Auntie finally gives in. With Granny, she gives the hugs and kisses - and somehow Granny always seems to show up with little gifts for her. With Grandma & Grandpa, she does the "fake cry" whereupon Grandma & Grandpa will instantly swipe her out of our hands to comfort her and give her whatever she wants. Even with the general public, she pretends to be shy and gives this mischievous smile, shows them Sonja, and says, "Doh Dya"...and I always hear how "she's such an angel"...And somehow she works her charm and by the time we leave a restaurant, all the surrounding tables are waving and saying goodbye to Bear (seriously! It happens all the time!).

So beware, take heed and don't fall for her "evil genius" strategies. And if you are one of those out there who have been victimized by Bear's charisma and charm, we sympathize with you for being duped by our toddler...If you haven't yet...uh, don't say we didn't warn you.

Trial and Error

One of the things that I wish I did a little bit more before becoming a parent was to do more research...Ask some more questions from experienced parents...get some ideas on how to be a more resourceful mom. I guess those months before Baby Bear arrived was a whirlwind, and I just didn't have the time (or the energy) to sit down and get a little bit more information.

I feel like I've been sucked into the chaotic consumer-driven world of places like Babies R Us. I can't tell you how many times I've walked down those aisles and thought, "hmmmm, maybe we should consider getting one of those." There are so many things that one child just does not need. I can name a few things already in our household that Baby Bear has touched maybe once or twice in her lifetime. Yet, we have them stored for those "just in case" moments.

It's been a wild game of trial and error. Before Baby Bear was born, we guessed and bought what we thought was minimally necessary. My thinking was that since we didn't know what to expect, we should buy the minimum and add as needs arise. When Baby Bear entered our lives, I realized that many of those once "necessary" items became "unnecessary" or "more than we needed." As Baby Bear developed, other items we had weren't quite the right fit. So on top of the unnecessary we bought more that was necessary. On top of the items that weren't quite right, we had to replace with more suitable purchases.

In the end, our minimum amount of things became just too much.

So this is why sometimes I wish I had done some more research. Perhaps we could have found the items cheaper. Perhaps we would have known beforehand that the items that seemed better for our baby, were just a bunch of expensive nonsense and scaled down. Perhaps, I would have been more careful about considering the worth to Baby Bear's growth and development. Perhaps we wouldn't have ended up spending so much on frivolities. Perhaps...perhaps...perhaps...

But since I don't have a time machine handy, it's a little too late for perhaps. Or...

Perhaps it's all just part of becoming a wiser more efficient parent.

The Strange Things We Do...

A few weeks ago, a friend of ours was telling us how it's fun to see how short babies arms are. They're arms don't quite reach atop their heads...hee hee. Check this picture out.

Hungry Bear

Padawanlee and I were trying to wait until Baby Bear was 6 months old to start her on solid foods. We heard that it was better because it decreased the chances of allergies arising. Lately, however, she's been getting hungrier and hungrier. At first she was starting to want to eat every 2 hours. Then the time intervals started getting shorter and shorter. Even after eating well, she still seemed hungry. My milk supply was running short and my patience was running short...so we gave in.
I was expecting it to be a difficult affair, just because she's so used to milk being her sole source of nutrition. Despite being extremely messy, she took to it well.
She seemed like she was actually enjoying herself. I would start bringing the spoon to her mouth and she would hungrily attack it. Of course, most of it dribbled down into the black hole supposedly where her neck is...but that is another story altogether.

Cranky Bear

Oh where did my Happy Bear go? Right now we have a Cranky Bear in her place. I hope it's just because of her teeth...which still haven't come out yet!

This has been an exercise in patience. Patience with the teeth, and patience with the cranky bear.

Speaking of which, last Sunday we dedicated Baby Bear at church. It was good for Padawanlee and I to think about how parenting is not just physical (feeding, burping and changing), but it's also spiritual. It is by our actions and examples that she will be raised spiritually.

We were given a book during her dedication called Sacred Parenting by Gary L. Thomas. I was excited because one of my favorite books on marriage is Sacred Marriage by the same author. The byline on this book is how being a parent shapes our soul.

The author likes to put quotes to start each chapter. The very first quote in the book says, "If it was going to be easy to raise kids, it never would have started with something called labor - Anonymous." What a good way to start the book.

Still Waiting...

We're still waiting for Bear's teeth to make an appearance. We see them! The points and tips are starting to poke through...but they just haven't quite made their grand entrance. So I counted this morning...there are 3-4 coming in on the bottom and four are making their way from the top! Yikes! No wonder she's been such a cranky bear.