Baby Bear

College Memories...

A couple of nights ago, I got to have dinner with some friends from college. It was different because this time around there was a baby to tote around, but despite extra baggage (stroller, booster seat, diaper bag...), it was good to hang out with some familiar faces and try to achieve some semblance of normalcy again (whatever normal is...).

I got to thinking about how much fun we used to have in college. I'm not saying that life isn't "fun" now, but it's different. "Fun" these days refer to enjoying our silly little girl when she busts up laughing at absolutely nothing. Our college "fun" consisted of many zany acts and random endeavors that were created from spontaneity and adventure.

Perhaps one day I will regale the tales to my children (or grandchildren) of 3 am burrito runs, all-night non-study sessions, Vegas trips that lasted 4 hours, car rallies, bonfires, 21st birthdays and other adventures that were not as tame. One day.

My mom once told me that the friends that I gain in college will be the friends that I will have for life. I truly hope so.

Chores...

Being home, I seem to have a lot more chores. I think before I used to just ignore them (hee hee). I guess being home all the time puts me smack dab in the midst of the mess, so I have more reason to tackle it...Out of all chores, I like washing dishes. On the other hand, my least favorite is to vacuum. I realize that when I clean, I like to see a clear result or something visible to my work. Vacuuming just never did that for me. I couldn't really see a difference. Yes, sometimes the vacuum bag would fill up and after vacuuming the house was a little less dusty smelling...but the carpet still looked the same. It didn't look any cleaner to me.

After padawanlee and I got married we invested in a Dyson vacuum. More expensive, but it has actually made me more excited about vacuuming. Call me crazy, but I like the fact that you can actually see what you pick up from the carpet. It makes me feel like I'm actually cleaning something up. I mean, yeah, it's really gross, but hey, the science teacher in me is fascinated how just the 3 of us can produce so much dust (yum, yum, dead skin cells). Go, cyclonic action!

It Only Takes a Week...

I have been thoroughly amazed at how fast Baby Bear changes. Take the first week of June, for example. She suddenly got her two front teeth, was able to sit up without much assistance and started rolling everywhere! All in the same week!

It just reminds me how I better enjoy every moment this week, because it will all be different next week (And I mean this beyond the scope of Baby Bear as well).

Congrats (Not-so)Little Brother!

Today is my brother's high school graduation. *sniff*

Time sure flies by fast. I still remember his munchkin days when it was my responsibility to pick him up from after-school day care at the tender age of five. Now he's 6 feet tall and going off to college.

Congratulations, Dylpyl!

Just Some Things...

Here are some things that I've wanted to post:

(1) The nicest thing padawanlee ever said to me (which happened this week) was "it's my day off therefore, it's your day off, too." He then took Baby Bear out on his own for a while. I didn't know what to do with myself for those 3 hours, but it was nice.

(2) I officially quit my job yesterday. I am no longer a high school science teacher. Tough decision, but it's the best thing to do right now. I would feel torn leaving Baby Bear, and also not being able to give my best to my students. For those of you who think that anyone can teach and it's an easy job because you only work 9 months out of the year...I hope you go into teaching one day :).

(3) My baby has a "man face." Today at the Japanese market, Baby Bear and I met a family (mom, dad, daughter, son) in the senbei aisle. They were talking to Baby Bear when the mother turned to me and said, "he's such a big boy...and he's got that serious man face, just like my son." What could I do? I didn't want to embarrass this woman by telling her that my "man faced" baby was in fact a girl. But sheesh...I know she's got the boy hair, but a man face?

(4) I hate the two cats that live upstairs. They have been keeping me up every night lately. Just when I'm about to drift off into la-la land, their horrible cries come resounding through our bedroom window. Last night, padawanlee had to shoo them away. Plus, they have given our home the gift of fleas. Fortunately, the fleas don't bite Baby Bear and padawanlee, but I'm being eaten alive.

(5) So, we're going to move. Soon. I hope very soon.

Bang! Bang! Buzz!

Bang! Bang! Buzz! Buzz! Screech! Screech! Boom! Rattle!

That's what I currently hear upstairs. They're doing some construction in the bathroom in the upstairs apartment(remember the leak?).

So since the leak, we have had this water stain in our bedroom ceiling. The handyman finally came to repair it, but I'm a little concerned. All he did was paint over it. Is that normal procedure for a large water stain?

Not Sleeping Well...

From the title, you're probably guessing that I'm going to write about how Baby Bear isn't sleeping...well, no. She's been doing great. It's her mom that isn't sleeping well.

Apparently, I'm not alone. Check out this Newsweek article.

Padawanlee doesn't really understand why I can't sleep. I explained to him that my head is so full of mental checklists, to-do lists, and what-ifs that I can't sleep. He told me, "Well, can't you just stop thinking?" Ha! If I could, I'm sure I'd be sleeping. Then again, the moment he hits his head to the pillow he is snoring away(How does he do that?!?!). Meanwhile a couple of hours rolls by while I listen to his rhythmic snoring.

So somehow, I have to learn not to think.

Hungry Bear

Padawanlee and I were trying to wait until Baby Bear was 6 months old to start her on solid foods. We heard that it was better because it decreased the chances of allergies arising. Lately, however, she's been getting hungrier and hungrier. At first she was starting to want to eat every 2 hours. Then the time intervals started getting shorter and shorter. Even after eating well, she still seemed hungry. My milk supply was running short and my patience was running short...so we gave in.
I was expecting it to be a difficult affair, just because she's so used to milk being her sole source of nutrition. Despite being extremely messy, she took to it well.
She seemed like she was actually enjoying herself. I would start bringing the spoon to her mouth and she would hungrily attack it. Of course, most of it dribbled down into the black hole supposedly where her neck is...but that is another story altogether.

Mommy Chatter

Baby Bear and I went to a mommies and babies play group last week. Granted baby bear doesn't play much, but she was fascinated by all the older children playing (screaming!) around her. All she did was sit there and observe and listen.

I sat around with the other moms (who had a moment to sit) and I noticed that all conversations were either about their kids, their husbands, other people's kids or other people's husbands. Most of it was beyond me because most of their kids were starting pre-school or kindergarten. There I was with my 5 month old. All I did was sit there and observe and listen.

Is this my future? Will I only talk about my children and my husband? But wait!!! Isn't that what I do now? Somehow in the course of these past 5 months I unknowingly learned the art of "mommy chatter." I shudder at the thought.

The Truth...

I love Baby Bear. That will never change, but sometimes she really starts to irk me. There, I've said it. Does this make me a bad parent?

It's tough. I knew that it would be difficult, but I didn't know exactly how hard it would be. I don't regret being a parent at all, but I just don't understand how it seems so easy for everyone else. Everyone else seems so put together and I feel like I'm so frazzled. Everyone else seems to have these angel children who can do no wrong in their sight.

My baby is no angel baby. I wouldn't want you to get the wrong idea from this blog. Granted, she has some angel moments, but she's not even close to being an easy baby. Just at this moment, she is complaining again because she tipped herself over while playing for the 12th time and needs to be picked up again for the 12th time.

She is, however, a good actor. At church on Sundays, she seems like an easy baby. She doesn't cry much, doesn't complain much, let's other people hold her, plays on her own, sleeps in the stroller, smiles and laughs abundantly... Everyone mentions how she seems like an easy baby. Even when we were in Sacramento visiting the grandparents, they kept remarking how she was such a good baby. The moment it's just me, padawanlee and baby bear, she seems continuously out of sorts.

So I've decided, if anybody asks me how I'm doing as a parent and I'm not feeling entirely in my parental best, I will tell the truth. I won't try to hide it. Perhaps this will help me be a better parent.

And even when my baby is howling for the 2nd hour, I just have to remember how much I love her, how being her parent makes me seek to be a better person, and that perhaps we can learn together how to be patient with one another.

I know...who could get impatient with this bear cub?

Cranky Bear

Oh where did my Happy Bear go? Right now we have a Cranky Bear in her place. I hope it's just because of her teeth...which still haven't come out yet!

This has been an exercise in patience. Patience with the teeth, and patience with the cranky bear.

Speaking of which, last Sunday we dedicated Baby Bear at church. It was good for Padawanlee and I to think about how parenting is not just physical (feeding, burping and changing), but it's also spiritual. It is by our actions and examples that she will be raised spiritually.

We were given a book during her dedication called Sacred Parenting by Gary L. Thomas. I was excited because one of my favorite books on marriage is Sacred Marriage by the same author. The byline on this book is how being a parent shapes our soul.

The author likes to put quotes to start each chapter. The very first quote in the book says, "If it was going to be easy to raise kids, it never would have started with something called labor - Anonymous." What a good way to start the book.

Silent Night...

We don't really live in a quiet neighborhood. Morning is wrought with cars leaving for work, doors slamming, carpools honking, school buses...The daytime brings garbage trucks, construction on nearby properties, sirens from the nearby fire station...People drive by with their music blasting or loud exhaust sounds that set off car alarms as it zooms by. Once school is out, kids are walking down the street, driving by, riding skateboards, yelling to their friends across the way...Even our neighbors are not quiet. Out of 6 apartments, 4 of them listen to music so loud that my wall shakes. Upstairs is the dad always yelling at his daughter who in turn is always crying at the top of her lungs. The next apartment over has the boy who runs from door to door screaming at the top of his lungs. Even in the middle of the night we have this insane cat that cries right outside our bedroom window...

...but for once it's quiet here. For the first time in a few days I can actually hear my own thoughts. With all the noise I didn't realize that I had so much going on in my head.

Still Waiting...

We're still waiting for Bear's teeth to make an appearance. We see them! The points and tips are starting to poke through...but they just haven't quite made their grand entrance. So I counted this morning...there are 3-4 coming in on the bottom and four are making their way from the top! Yikes! No wonder she's been such a cranky bear.

In Daddy's Care...

I'm so tired. Baby Bear is napping less...I'm trying to work with her to nap better, but hunger seems to override her sleep. So her naps are horrendously short...so on top of being tired from feeding her all the time, she requires more attention while awake.

So I needed a little break. Right now, Baby Bear is in her dad's care. It's actually funny to listen to. He decided to read his ESPN magazine to her...Some things I have heard them discussing:

• the joys of the NBA playoffs
• Tennis rackets and grips
• Poker and the meaning of a Royal Flush
• Dirt biking
• Derek Jeter (He was explaining to her how he's Auntie Maisie's favorite player, "because she thinks he's cute...")
• "Hummers are bad! Don't buy a hummer..."

I'm glad that she's got someone patient enough to entertain her right now.

*Growl*

My stomach has been growling all morning. I ate some food, but it's still growling. While I was feeding Baby Bear this morning, my stomach was growling so loudly that Baby Bear kept looking around for the source of the noise. She then responded to the growl. Apparently my stomach is talking to her.

Deep Thoughts - By Baby Bear

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Our "Healthy" Baby

For the past few weeks, I have heard numerous euphemisms for the term "chubby." The most popular being, "Your baby is so healthy." Yes, she's very "healthy" indeed. Or we hear, "Wow, your mommy feeds you well" or "What a good eater you must be."

Some not-so-euphemistic terms that have been mentioned are: Rubberband arms, Michelin Man, Thunder thighs, Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man...
Personally, I like my baby's double chin and wobbly cheeks. I like her "rubberband arms" and "thunder thighs." So, there are no need for euphemisms with this mom. But...

...At her 4-month appointment yesterday she came just 3 ounces shy of 16 pounds. That's 90-95 percentile! She doesn't seem so roly-poly though. She only eats 5 times a day usually. Most breastfed babies are supposed to still eat 6-8 times a day at this age. Hmmmm....She doesn't look overweight or anything. She seems proportional...perhaps she's just storing it all in her cheeks.

It's So Difficult...

...to type with one hand as you're holding a fidgety 4-month old in your lap.

On another note...you know how as babies develop there are supposed milestones that they are supposed to reach at certain times? I kind of look at them sometimes, mainly so I know what the pediatrician is going to ask me at the next visit. Otherwise, I know that Bear will develop in her own time...and why should I push her? But there are people out there always forming the unnecessary developmental comparisons.

Baby Bear and I were at Target the other day. I was perusing the bottle aisle with Bear when we bumped into this woman who was perusing the formula cans. Baby Bear is a conversation starter, so this woman proceeded to tell me about her own child who was 2 months older. It was nice, just a simple conversation with a stranger who could understand the woes of baby raising. Then again, conversations with me are usually one-sided...I tend to be the silent nodder.

It's great when parents are proud of their little ones and of the achievements that they make. It's better when they don't gush about it in a condescending manner. "Yeah, but my baby is advanced, so your child might do that at 7 months...not 6 months like mine."

I just smiled and nodded...what else could I say?

Any UCSD AACFers out there?

I received an email about a UCSD AACF Alumni reunion happening over Memorial Day weekend (Sunday to Monday). If any of you are out there reading this blog and you want more information just go to this website for more info. Sounds interesting...