It's tough. I knew that it would be difficult, but I didn't know exactly how hard it would be. I don't regret being a parent at all, but I just don't understand how it seems so easy for everyone else. Everyone else seems so put together and I feel like I'm so frazzled. Everyone else seems to have these angel children who can do no wrong in their sight.
My baby is no angel baby. I wouldn't want you to get the wrong idea from this blog. Granted, she has some angel moments, but she's not even close to being an easy baby. Just at this moment, she is complaining again because she tipped herself over while playing for the 12th time and needs to be picked up again for the 12th time.
She is, however, a good actor. At church on Sundays, she seems like an easy baby. She doesn't cry much, doesn't complain much, let's other people hold her, plays on her own, sleeps in the stroller, smiles and laughs abundantly... Everyone mentions how she seems like an easy baby. Even when we were in Sacramento visiting the grandparents, they kept remarking how she was such a good baby. The moment it's just me, padawanlee and baby bear, she seems continuously out of sorts.
So I've decided, if anybody asks me how I'm doing as a parent and I'm not feeling entirely in my parental best, I will tell the truth. I won't try to hide it. Perhaps this will help me be a better parent.
And even when my baby is howling for the 2nd hour, I just have to remember how much I love her, how being her parent makes me seek to be a better person, and that perhaps we can learn together how to be patient with one another.
I know...who could get impatient with this bear cub?
5 comments:
see my monday's comment... I mistakenly thought this one was posted first.
Awwww...my heart goes out to you! :( Parenting can be such the thankless job without the end sight of a finish line. But, God is good and gracious and you will be blessed with His gentle hand. Make sure you get some time for yourself and for togetherness!
Maybe Andy and I can babysit sometime while you and Matt get a time out?? you can use that as an IOU.
*hugz*
I love your honesty. If anyone can handle the struggles, I know you can. God's brought you through tons to bring you this point!
I'd say you are an excellent parent if you haven't invested in earplugs by now.
Well, Carina, you can add me to your list of non-perfect mommies with non-perfect babies. But we LOVE our babies like crazy right? :)
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