[fill in the blank] Mom

"Are you an 'attachment parenting' mom or a 'cry-it-out method' mom?"

It seems that there is always some label associated with being a mom.

"Are you a 'stay-at-home' mom or are you a 'working' mom?"

"Look at you, 'soccer' mom!"

Even a radio station where I used to live had a segment where they would speak to a "mad-mom-in-a-minivan."

I hated all the labels. It made me feel so stuck as a mom, that everyone knew what type of person I was because I carried my baby all the time or because I made my baby cry themselves to sleep. As a SAHM (stay-at-home mom, for those of you who don't know), I felt confined to fit a certain role, some sort of "ideal" mom role that I often stressed myself out over when I found I just couldn't manage it all. Some moms seem to have it all together, but me I was crying over the fact that I could barely brush my teeth in the morning.

So I changed my perspective and decided that I needed to forget the labels and just become a "survival" mom. This meant that my parenting books would have to be taken with a grain of salt, advice from others should be considered a suggestion not something I had to follow lest be looked down upon, and overall I just needed to do and decide what was a priority and let the rest go.

I also decided that the labels needed to go, but I tell you I'm still learning how to do that.

A couple weeks ago at a soccer game I was watching another mom yelling at her five-year-old on the field.

"You can do better than that!"

"Just kick it in the goal! Kick it in the goal!"

"Where are you going? The ball is over here!"

I turned to my friend next to me and whispered, "If I ever become THAT mom who yells at my kids' games, please kick me in the shins."

Later as I thought about it, I realized I shouldn't have said that. I had just labelled another mom using the most ambiguous yet negatively-connoted "THAT" mom. Even if I wasn't necessarily speaking about the mom that I saw at the field, but rather moms in general who I thought were too hard on their kids at the soccer field, I still shouldn't have said that.

Because who gives me the right to judge moms without knowing anything about them or their kids? Nobody. Instead I proved to myself that I was THAT mom...you know, the judgmental one who wishes she could take the time machine back and do a retake? Instead I'll just have to settle for being THIS mom...the one who takes her thoughtless words and hopefully learns not to make that mistake again.

Yup. HUMBLED Mom. That I am.