Thanksgiving Weekend

Hope that all of you out there had wonderful holiday weekends.

I was trying to think of a way to cleverly sum up our weekend, but as I have been Mrs. Scatterbrain lately, cleverness just isn't my thing. Other than that, I'm sure that Matt will tell you that I have been "nesting" to full capacity...at least until a week or so ago when I hit a wall...and now I've just been doing a lot of complaining.

But back to Thanksgiving weekend...

After watching my mom madly shop for and cook mass quantities of eats, we had a wonderful dinner with family. Bear managed to eat half of the grape tomatoes on her own and half a box of tangerines. As usual, she entertained everyone with her silly antics. Pictures will have to come later.

Saturday was Bear's first trip to Disneyland to help celebrate Auntie R's birthday. She had this look on her face most of the day:



Bear was overwhelmed and couldn't believe that she was seeing her cartoon heroes in person. She managed to give Goofy, Mickey and Minnie a kiss. She even shared Sonja with Mickey. That lucky mouse.

We managed to get on a few rides. Surprisingly, Bear can ride more rides than I can at this point. We stuck with the ones that we all could ride. Here she is "Finding Nemo" and riding the "Choo Choo."





That was our weekend in a nutshell.

Emotions

There are those people in life that no matter how angry or mad you get, they always seem to turn it around in an instant.

Bear is like that. She has this way of making anger and sadness melt away.

Like any human being, I do get angry...at her, especially when I've asked her 10 times in a row not to touch something, or when I'm trying to keep her away from something potentially dangerous and she just chooses to endanger herself again and again.

But she has this way of always turning those situations around...and somehow I end up laughing with her, hugging her, enjoying the moment where a few minutes ago I was ready to pop out a vein.

Throughout our day together, I have to keep myself from bursting out laughing because of all the silly things she does when she thinks I'm not looking. Her most recent antic is to yell "Abre! (is that how it's spelled?)" at the most random times, imitating her favorite tv character Dora when she wants things to "Open" like the door, a book, or even at laundry as she throws it up in the air.

Other times when I'm feeling blue, she tries to cheer me up in her own special ways. Often that means offering Sonja or her cup of juice to me. Sometimes if I have to cry, she sits in my lap and cries with me. Once she even offered Sonja's hand to me, because for her sucking on Sonja's hand is comforting.

And I feel for her when she cries...Somehow a broken dish or spilled milk all over the floor just doesn't matter when your child is whimpering and feeling bad for what she did. The comforting hug always comes first...clean up comes later.

So wiping up all sorts of biological messes, finding irreversible pen marks on favorite books, waking up in the middle of the night of an already shortened sleep, is nothing. Realizing that your child needs you and you love your child, is absolutely something.

Bear's Rules to Live By

1) TV Theme songs are for dancing.
2) When playing with toys, it's more fun to pour out the whole box of toys and then pick one.
3) Stickers are for adorning the front door.
4) When traveling from room to room, I must carry Sonja, a blanket, a cup of water, and Snoopy.
5) When I find something new to play with I will drop Sonja, blanket, cup of water and Snoopy.
6) If mommy does it, I must do it too.
7) If there's a mess, just leave it. It magically goes away when I wake up the next morning.
8) Food is more fun to eat when it gets all over the place.
9) Things that happen on Dor@ the Explorer are what really happens in life.
10) What mommy and daddy tell me to do are just guidelines, there's always a loophole.

Thankful for 30

Now that I'm thirty, here's 30 things I'm thankful for:

1) A wonderful husband who always knows when I need a hug.
2) Bear, who makes me laugh on a daily basis.
3) Waking up each morning knowing that it's another day God has blessed me with.
4) My family who knows all of my quirks and still seem to keep me around.
5) The friends near and far that have each touched my life in one form or another.
6) Baby Lee who we can't wait to meet in February (or possibly January).
7) Lots of pillows that I can wedge myself into bed every night.
8) A place that we can call "home" even if the ceiling falls in every now and again.
9) The fact that I always cry on the last scene of "M0nster's Inc."
10) My mom who taught me everything "crafty" as I was growing up...who knew they'd come in handy so often.
11) My artsy sister who if I didn't have her around growing up, I'd always walk out of the house wearing 2 different colors of black.
12) My brother who without I would not know anything about anime, Pl@ystation, or good cheesecake.
13) My 5th grade teacher, who encouraged me to be myself, and still remembers my name to this day when I run into her.
14) Binder clips...I like binder clips...they're so handy.
15) Avocados...yum.
16) Craft stores, of which I could spend hours perusing items I don't need.
17) My guitar, my piano, and for music that helps to soothe my soul.
18) Rainy days, because everything is always so clean after the downpour.
19) Bear's pediatrician, who really knows her stuff, and truly cares for Bear.
20) Quarters...of which without we wouldn't have clean laundry.
21) Noisy neighbors, who help me understand the joy of peace and quiet.
22) People who are extremely down to earth...especially when their position in life would generally cause them to have their head in the clouds.
23) My childhood memories of fun times that I think back on and hope Bear will have a chance to experience.
24) My church, all the good and the bad, and the things I learn week after week.
25) My memories of teaching, my memories of my students, and the things they taught me each week.
26) Those moments when I actually get a chance to brush my hair.
27) Books of all sorts...that I can read to learn or read to relax.
28) God's creativity, that I see everyday, in everyone and everything.
29) My fears, that keep me on my toes, but don't consume me.
30) The trials and challenges in my life, the tears and heartaches, and the joys and sorrows that made me into the person that I am. Thanks.

Of course, I'm thankful for a lot of things...but these are the first 30 that I thought of...I'll close with a picture from Bear's October 31st fun.

For Some Reason...

It's 11 pm and for some reason Bear is still up and running around.

She was fast asleep and then the neighbors upstairs made a horrific noise (sounded like a bookshelf fell over). Ever since then we've been wondering when she'll go back to sleep. She is currently running around the livingroom with a flashlight saying, "Yight Aw (Light On)."

Fun.

Pre-Halloween Chuckle

Here she is...all ready for trick-or-treating!

3 Years...

So it's been 3 years since Matt and I have been married...I can't complain. It's been a good 3 years (with all the ups and downs). We have our 1.5 kids, a cluttered apartment, and lots of happy memories. It's good.

It's kind of weird to think though that it was about 11 and a half years ago when we met (did I do the math right?). He claims that I "picked him up." Well, I did, but I picked him and 3 other people up to drive them to an on-campus fellowship event. After that we went through 4 years of friendship, 4 years of dating and now 3 years of marriage.

Happy Anniversary, Padawanlee!

Traditions...

I've been pulling my hair out trying to decide how to dress Bear for Halloween this year. The reason being that I would love to continue to make Bear's costume again for her. So needless to say, time is running out to make a decision. Last year she was a darling little piggy. This year (only being her second Halloween) I'm stumped.

The reason I'm so adamant about wanting to make Bear's costume myself is because most of the costumes I wore growing up were handmade by my mom. She labored every year at the sewing machine so that my siblings and I could dress up as we pleased. Some of the costumes I remember were quite intricate...the pink flapper dress, the angel costume complete with satin wings and a halo, even the baby bumblebee and wings that my sis wore. So since I now have my mom's old sewing machine, I would love to continue the tradition of homemade Halloweens.

Matt and I have been going back and forth over how to dress Bear. He really wanted to dress her as a Jawa. I wasn't so enthused. He also came up with the idea to dress Bear up in a Sonja costume which most people laugh at the idea (I laughed too - hey, it's funny). Other suggestions are to dress her as some kind of animal, like a bear, a jedi (so I don't have to dress her as a Jawa but it's still Star Wars related), some kind of ballerina or princess to appease her girly-girl nature, or I could just dress her in her purple fairy skirt and wings although I may have to censor her.

So I'm looking for suggestions...any ideas?

Times sure have changed

Matt and I went to a wedding last weekend. It was great. We got to see a good friend from college tie the knot with his longtime love. Beyond that, we also got to see some other friends from our college days, some we haven't seen since college.

You have to understand, we had some interesting college days. I won't go into details, but some of the people we knew were legendary in a sense. They weren't necessarily a legend, but the stories about them were. For those of you reading who went to college with us, you know the people and you know the stories. Some might say "crazy," but to us they were the stories that made us laugh over dorm meals.

Yet, there we all were sitting at two tables at a wedding. Some of those old stories did come out again for us to chuckle over. This time was a little different though. Proud dads were pulling out their phones and PDAs to show off their baby boys and girls. Others shared how they became doctors, businessmen and assistant principals since we last saw them. There were some who moved far, some who bought homes, and some who became newly engaged. Times sure had changed.

I was totally bewildered when I witnessed a group of guys sitting around recommending books on baby sleep training...

...and then they started talking about how excited they were for Starcraft II to come out and discussing when they could get together for a LAN party.

I guess times haven't changed that much.

Being One's Own...

The most common comment we've gotten recently about Bear is "She's soooo independent!" This being said as she is running away from us and running towards other people to say "hi" and show off her Sonja doll. Like today, we went to the mall and she just had to go through the red door (T@lbots). She even started waving to people who were trying to enter or leave the store probably hoping one of them would let her through. Earlier at brunch, the waitress came to take our order and Bear promptly pointed to the menu and told her "Meat...Wice(rice)."

What can I say? She definitely has her own opinions. As much as people tell me that it's a good thing, I find myself battling her day by day. "Do you want to wear the pink or the blue shirt today?" "NO BOO (Blue), NO PICK (Pink)...Dess(Dress- pointing into the closet)." "Eat your sandwich, Bear." "NO, EAT APO-DOS (applesauce)." My cousin even bought her this really cute purple fairy style skirt with wings, and Bear loves it, but she insists taking everything else off in order to wear them. So Bear runs around practically naked with a see-through skirt, a diaper and a pair of wings. So I've been trying to take a picture of her in her little outfit, so I can send it to my cousin, but uh...yeah.

As I've spent the greater part of my life trying to find and accept my own opinion, to avoid being so wishy-washy, it's such a weird concept to me that Bear is just so innately opinionated.

I would never want to squash her opinions, nor the charisma she has. I mean seriously, it took me almost 30 years before I could find my own voice. Although I do realize that my opinions were always there, I just never expressed them because I was just afraid of what people thought of me. So I guess it took me 30 years before I realized that no one really cares, and if they do, then well I shouldn't care. I am just trying to be my own.

And that is something that Bear has shown me well...It's important to just be your own...and not lose yourself to others. And it's important to appreciate others as they are. Otherwise, what's the point of God creating us each so differently?

The Fun Stage

I guess each stage of development has it's fun. Sometimes I find myself longing for those days when Bear would just sit there and I wouldn't have to run after her nor clean up her messes. Having a toddler is fun though...there's so much more we can do with her now.

The Beach - She played in the water, dug in the sand and amassed a collection of "smooshed" sandcrabs. Poor sandcrabs, never had a chance.



The Fair - We went to the County Fair and Bear really loved looking at all the farm animals. She just kept saying, "Mor Dow! (More Cow)" and would "Baa" at all the sheep. She also took a liking to roasted corn and fake snow (yes, one building had fake snow that she got to play with).

Facing Fears - Bear faced her fears this weekend and picked her very own avocado from a tree in a family friends' backyard.



She was so excited, she ran around the yard yelling "tado!" and then would throw the poor thing onto the concrete like it was a football.

So it's been fun with Bear these days...she enjoys all the activities just as much as we do.

Long Weekend...

I teetered back and forth about writing about this especially in such a semi-public way. But I concluded that as much as I'd like for this blog to be light-hearted and filled with Bear's silly little antics, it's also a place where I've been writing about the lessons I've learned as a parent.

As my mom said, we grew an extra layer of skin this past weekend. I'll spare you all the details mostly because I'm sparing myself some tears upon remembering each moment as it happened.

Bear came down with a fever this past weekend...it escalated to the point where she had a febrile seizure. Although I've read about it in books and even as a teacher who is supposed to be trained in dealing with instances of any kind of seizure, I just wasn't prepared. I never felt so at a loss in my life.

I appreciated the people who tended to her (nurses, doctors, paramedics), but I didn't appreciate their constant repetition of the same few phrases...This kind of thing happens all the time...We can't really do much because it's not that big of an emergency...Don't worry, she'll be fine. As much as someone tells you not to worry, it doesn't help...sometimes you just have to worry. Sometimes you just need to feel scared.

So after our brief stint in the hospital, Matt and I were carefully monitoring our sick little girl. I don't think either of us wanted to leave her side at any moment. Even she wouldn't let us leave her sight unless she knew where we were going. We spent the day at home half sleeping, half awake...constantly keeping one eye on Bear.

Monday morning she woke up with a smile, no fever, or any other sign of sickness. She grabbed her doll, her blanket, her cup of water and came to sit in the livingroom just like it was any other day, just as if nothing had ever happened.

Kids are so resilient. I wish I could say the same for myself.

(Bear is fine. We went to the pediatrician on Monday [a wonderful doctor who didn't say anything of the sort like the people at the hospital] and everything checked out fine. Her temperature was normal and there's no sign of an infection. She must have just caught a random virus and unfortunately has the genetic predisposition towards febrile seizures. She is once again her happy-go-lucky self...and possibly a bit more chatty).

The Cry from the Bathroom

Matt usually takes care of bathtime and bedtime. It's his time of day to spend with his little girl. These days I've been using bathtime as clean up time.

Tonight I was in the kitchen tidying up some dishes when I heard Bear start crying. I was a little concerned, but I thought, hmmm, she probably doesn't want to come out of the bath yet.

What actually happened: Matt informed me that Bear looked at her pruney hands, tried to wipe away the wrinkles, even tried to pick them off, and then started crying because they just wouldn't go away.

After her bath, she came running out to me holding out her hands and whimpering. She pointed to the pruney wrinkles and started tearing up. She ran over to the sink and said, "wsh hans(wash hands)" and started to cry again when I told her that it wouldn't help. So I hugged her and assured her that her hands would be okay once she dried off.

Poor kid. I hope this doesn't deter her from taking baths.

Wee!

Here's a conversation we had at a friend's house recently.

Bear: Wee wee!

Friend: Uh, Matt? Does Bear need to use the bathroom?

Matt: Why do you ask?

Friend: She's running around yelling "Wee wee!"

Matt: Oh, no. She's actually saying, "Wii wii." She wants to play the Wii.

Friend: Only your kid would have "Wee" refer to the "Wii."

Bear: Wii wii!

No Way!

Me: Bear! It's time for a nap!

Bear: No way! No way!

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Me: Bear! Pick up your toys!

Bear: No way! No way!

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Me: It's time to change your diaper!

Bear: No way! No way!

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I'm not quite sure where she picked up this phrase...but she sure has been using it a lot. What happened to just "no?"

Haircutting 101

So can anyone out there tell me how to properly cut hair? Especially the hair of a squirmy, squiggly toddler?

A few months ago, I managed to cut Bear's bangs, but it took me three days to get it right. In the end, I cut it a little too short, a little too straight, and my baby looked liked one of those dolls you get from the Americ@n Girl Company.

Now her hair is growing out again into and over her eyes. I've been attempting to chop it here and there, but it's just becoming a jagged mess.

Help.

Mommy got ditched

Last Saturday Bear and I attended the "Saturday Party" celebrating the end of VBS week at our church. This is the day where all the kids invite their families to come and watch them perform songs, view a slideshow of the week's activities, and then enjoy a lunch together. I wheeled Bear to the front once the performance started and within a minute she said, "Dow (Down)."

A minute later she saw one of the moms (we'll call her J) who helps out in the nursery, pointed at her with a smile and said, "Heeeey!" Then Bear promptly ran over to where J was sitting with her daughter and husband climbed up onto the pew next to her and sat there for the remainder of the performance.

So I sat all alone. Bear ditched me. Actually, it is quite funny, so I'm not upset even if you are laughing at my misery.

One time, I thought she was returning to me, so I held out my arms to her. She quickly grabbed Sonja from the stroller and ran back to sit with J. Ha ha.

So I watched her as she applauded each of the kids. I watched as she screamed in enjoyment at the slideshow. I watched as she attempted to dance to each of the songs, but I watched all of this from afar.

I'm glad that Bear is so comfortable running up and sitting with other people (people she knows...not strangers). Lately, she has been much more comfortable at church, too. I often lose her because she's visiting other friends and families. I think she mingles at church more than Matt or I ever do.

So even if I do get ditched by my own daughter, I always know that in the end she'll come running back to me asking to be picked up and held. I will gladly oblige.

Ode to the Sticker

Stickers, stickers everywhere,
On my pants and in my hair.
Oh, just how did they get in there?
A little toddler put them "dare!"

As we walk from room to room,
those little stickers cling to our shoes.
We constantly find them on our feet,
Little hitchhikers that give us the blues.

Oh, but how these stickers bring such joys,
it's better than all her other toys.
On long car rides, she sits without noise,
Sticking stickers that she enjoys.

And when the day comes to a close,
And it's bathtime in our little household,
Dad has the task of removing those
Sticky little stickers that are on her clothes.

Ah, yes, although we tire of these,
thousands of stickers, we are pleased,
she does enjoy them and even asks, "please."
And the time seems to pass as if a breeze.

So perhaps one day you may find,
yourself at our home, keep in mind
that you watch just where you step,
because those little stickers will find you yet.

Being a Grown Up is Not Fun

I keep telling myself that college really wasn't that long ago, and high school was just before that...but this week, I'm realizing more and more just how far that gap stretches...if not in years, then in maturity and life experience.

It's VBS again this week. Once again I've taken on a role much larger than I should have. I'm in charge of the crafts center, so I get the privilege of seeing all the kids (all 120 of them) in my little classroom throughout the day. It makes me miss teaching (a little).

I also have the privilege of working with a small staff mostly comprised of junior high and high school students. Today I had to have a little "discussion" with them about their conduct (standing in the back chatting instead of helping, flirting with the other helpers, riling up the kids). I still have that "strict teacher" in me, because the moment I ushered that last kindergartner out of classroom (with a smile), I shut the door and turned on my staff (with a frown). I remember saying things like, "you're here to help the kids, not help yourselves" and "whether you know it or not, these kids are looking to you as examples, and they sure are following it!" I believe I even threw in "I know it's fun to hang out with your friends, but I shouldn't be the only person working in this room!"

But I know the reason why I have so many of the junior high and high schoolers under my wing...it's because the people in charge knew that I wouldn't be afraid to just tell them straight out if they were erring on the side of unhelpful. It's my job to be the grown-up in that classroom. And although it's not always the fun job, it's important...

Even when I was teaching Biology, I knew that I wouldn't just be teaching about organ systems and plant life. I knew that a bulk of it would be teaching manners, study skills and even proper socialization. As this week goes, I know that I'm not just telling the K-6th graders how to put together a beaded necklace, I'm also teaching them about working together as well as re-emphasizing some great Bible Stories. Through the midst of it I'm also teaching some young adults that sometimes it's just not fun being the grown up, but somebody has to do it.

Thirty-Something

I had to catch myself today. I was reading a blog (a friend of a friend), and I started to snicker a little at their latest entry. My first thought was, "ha ha, only a twenty-something could do that." I stopped though when I realized that I'm still a twenty-something (at least for 3 and some months). I was laughing (not maliciously but rather nostalgically) because I could have seen myself doing the same thing only 5 years ago. Rewind.

Ah, those adventurous days after college. We had jobs, but no mortgages to pay. We were single and without kids, responsible only for ourselves. It was easy to pack up a car, drive 5 hours to visit friends, stay a day or two, and come right back. Gatherings were at bars, clubs, and fine dining restaurants and it was exciting to try new places, dress up, and just enjoy each other's company.

Although, I remember how scared I was turning 25. My good friends told me to "suck it up, it's not that bad." I think I just had this notion that I should have had my life pulled together by the time I was 25. I have since learned that I will be 80 and still telling myself that I need to pull my life together.

Fast forward 5 years later and I'm running after a toddler who thought it was funny to rub her lunch into the couch. I wear clothes that are comfortable and washable, my hair is developing this nest like formation in the back where I never seem to have time to brush, and the next thing on my to-do list is to wash a million, colorful plastic cups and dishes. Whoa. A total flip-flop from 5 years ago.

I don't regret what my life has become. It just happened, and I'm okay with that. I don't think I was a very good twenty-something anyway. I just wasn't that "live it up" type. Perhaps I'll make a better thirty-something. Looking forward to it.

And hey, later on in life I can take a page out of my mom's book. All I have to say about that is, "when the kids are away, grandma sure knows how to play." Rock on, mom. You deserve all the fun you're having.