One on One

I read this article and immediately sent it to Matt to read (By the way, the Simple Mom website is one of my favorite blogs to read). I know that I tend to "herd" my kids around, and I've only got two. So we tried some one-on-one time. Matt took Bear to a baseball game and I took Chipmunk out for pottery painting and yogurt eating.

Bear was a bit hesitant when she heard "baseball game" as the destination for her daddy-daughter night. It turns out she had a great time. She came home chattering about how good the garlic fries were (which happens to be the only reason I go to ballgames) and how far the balls got hit.



Chipmunk, on the other hand, couldn't contain his excitement and was bouncing nonstop from the moment we decided to go paint pottery. He talked endlessly on the way out to our destination. He chattered on an on as we painted pottery. He chattered more as we walked around from store to store (we were at a mall). His constant questioning only stopped so he could shove frozen yogurt into his mouth. I was amazed at how much he had to say...



Later, I asked Chipmunk, "Would you like to do this again sometime? Except perhaps next time you can have a date with Daddy and I'll take your sister out?"

He smiled excitedly and said, "You mean have a boys night?!"

Before I knew it he was up out of his seat, jumping up and down, yelling, "YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"

Perhaps there is something to this one-on-one thing...

A Garden of Memories

I like cool weather. I would rather have a chill wind and have to wear a jacket than deal with feeling sticky and sweaty in hot weather. Although winter is not my favorite season...mostly because winter seems lonely and stark. Even the trees that I look upon during those times are empty and gray.

When Spring comes along, the flowers start to bloom and in some ways it invigorates me as well, reviving me from my winter slump.

The plants grow, the fruits appear, and the greenery is divine.



This year our backyard sprang to life all of a sudden.



We had a bumper crop of apricots this year although we're still waiting for the peaches to ripen. We even found a couple cherries hiding out in the trees...

The kids planted all sorts of things...beans (purple, yellow and green), cucumbers, cherry tomatoes, corn, radishes and sunflowers. I have green onions, peppermint and snow peas.





Every time I'm in the backyard trimming trees or picking off bugs, I'm taken back to my childhood where I remember my halmoni (paternal grandmother) sneaking fish bones into the dirt below her sesame plants, picking rocks out from among the carrots, and caring for an apple tree that only produced the sourest of apples. I remember my mother picking off worms from her tomato plants with chopsticks, feeding her rose bushes each year, and her delight when they bloomed and could adorn our home. I even remember my grandma (maternal) pulling meyer lemons from her bushes near the bright orange nasturtiums, and complaining about the deer who liked to sneak into her backyard and eat the plants.

It's a garden...but it's also a place to build memories. So as our plants grow, I hope my children will also take away some vivid memories of their own, warmly carrying them into the next generation.

Goodbye, Preschool

My baby boy graduated from preschool this past week. His name was called, he walked up on that stage with a construction paper mortar board cap upon his head, gave a presidential wave to all of us watching, then happily received his diploma and hug.



I was there. I watched him. I took my requisite pictures. I cheered for him. I gave him the biggest congratulatory hug and I was bubbling with pride for my little "bubba" for finishing preschool.

It feels like just a few days ago, he was this pouty little one:



Now he's this one:



And soon he'll be headed off to kindergarten.

As we were driving away from the school afterwards, Chipmunk spoke up from the backseat, "I'm going to miss preschool...I wish it was longer."

Me too, son. Me, too.

The Line

There is this imaginary line that crosses social behaviors in our lives. It's the boundary that separates appropriate and inappropriate. It's the difference between information and "too-much-information." As we walk through life we learn to balance our lives to be somewhere near the line...but not overstepping.

Kids grow up and they slowly learn where that line is drawn. Although as I watch Chipmunk, I see him jumping way across the line a bit too often.

A few months ago we went to story time at the library. He sat on the carpet and waited. Then another little boy pulled his mother over and sat right in front of Chipmunk. My little Chipmunk could have just scooted a bit, but instead said, "Excuse me, could you move please? You're too big and I can't see." The lady kindly apologized and moved over.

He has an odd fascination for zombies. I had to beg him to not talk about zombies during Sunday School. And poop. He has an odd fascination for poop. I had to beg him not to talk about poop in Sunday School...or dinner...or with his great grandma.

A truck blocked our driveway. We parked across the street and walked home, all the while Chipmunk was voicing his opinion...loudly. "It is not nice to park in front of someone else's driveway. We can't even get into the garage! They should move somewhere else!" And yes, everyone heard...

He has blunt opinions about people around him. "Mommy, you should wear makeup so you won't look so ugly."

Of course, his bluntness also means, that when he says he likes something, he means it. His uncle made a strawberry-rhubarb pie one day and Chipmunk took a bite and said, "Wow, how did you make it taste so yummy!"

So as a parent, I've been trying to figure out whether or not I should teach him to filter his words...and then I wonder, even if I teach him to filter, will he? Is he just naturally a blunt and honest person? And then I reflect, do I filter my own words too much? Am I too concerned with stepping on others' toes?

See. The constant battle with the line. To filter or not to filter...that is the question...

Fortune Cookie Revelations

Bear carefully cracked her cookie in half, pulled out the little slip of paper and read her fortune out loud, "People enjoy having you around."

Matt and I both nodded our heads and agreed to that sentiment.

Chipmunk smashed his cookie in crumbles, swept the crumbs on the floor (I cringed) then read his fortune out loud to us. "There will always be delightful mysteries in your life."

I thought, What a nice and fitting fortune for our little troublemaker.

Then suddenly it dawned on me...Chipmunk just read his fortune out loud...Chipmunk, our not-quite-kindergartner, just read his fortune out loud to us..."delightful mysteries" and all.

And here I thought reading "Go, Dog, Go!" was more at his level. Now I see, he was just humoring me, when he read that book, as I've been grossly underestimating him.

Then again, perhaps he purposely didn't let on how well he could read...

...and that might be the even scarier revelation.

In Search of A Lemur

Oh Lemur, Lemur, where are you?
We looked and could not find you.
You were hiding cozy like in your nest
When we visited the zoo three weeks past.

The zebra was there with it's grand ol'stripes
Just a short way away from the hyena and it's shrill yipes.
A wily and perhaps hungry goat stared us down,
and tortoises lazed with their noses to the ground.



But alas, we didn't come for the emu,
Nor were we impressed with the sleepy kangaroo.
"Can we see the lemurs today?" asked my eager son.
I replied, "of course," only to later be undone.



Was the weather unkind? No, the sun was out.
Perhaps we came at the wrong time? Not the time for lemurs to scamper about.
So sadly we walked by the empty exhibit,
No signs of life, no peeks about, we just had to exit.

So attention all you lemurs at our local zoo,
I'd be more active the next time we come to see you.
Just a little bit of action would surely do,
So my disappointed son could catch a glimpse of you.

Signed,
Mother of a Son who likes to pretend he's a zombie lemur

Unnerving

Every now and then as I'm standing in the backyard, I take the opportunity to close my eyes and just listen to my surroundings. There's an occasional turkey call, or the wind rustling through the trees, but for the most part it is silent. As I'm standing there grasping for anything to listen to, I often reminisce about floating in the pool of my childhood home, with my ears submerged listening to the quiet ripples of the water.

I do this mostly because I find the quiet unnerving. I can't stand it. It's so unsettling that I purposely sit there in the quiet outside, raising my anxiety, because it intrigues me how much I dislike it.

When I close my eyes, I expect to hear cars rushing by at all hours of the day and night, people talking loudly while traveling from location to location, the buzz of the street lights and wires crisscrossing the sky, and the sounds of the television blaring from neighboring apartments or feet walking heavily across the floors above our heads.

But no...all I hear is just silence, and it imbues a feeling of isolation and loneliness...of disquiet within my own soul...and that disquiet unnerves me more than anything else.

Dramatic

In the car a couple of weeks ago my son accidentally pinched his finger in his lunchbox and started fake-howling in pain. After he calmed down, I asked him a question:

Me: Do you know what the word "dramatic" means?

Chipmunk: No. What does it mean?

Me: "Dramatic" is what you call it when you act like something is more than it really is, like when you cry out in so much pain over a tiny little pinch. It's when you act more than is necessary.

At this point, I was patting myself on the back for deftly getting my point across to Chipmunk about perhaps toning down the dramatics. Cut back to the conversation in the car...

Me: So let's try again...you just pinched your finger in your lunchbox, what do you say?

Chipmunk: (pausing for a thoughtful minute before answering)...AAaaaaah!!! My finger!!! It's going to fall OFF!!!! AAAaaaaaah!!! IT FLEW OUT THE WINDOW!!!! I'll NEVER see my FINGER AGAIN!!!!

He then proceeded to cry real tears over how he would never see his finger again all because of his lunchbox.

I, on the other hand, sighed and decided that veiled admonishments just don't seem to have a place in parenting...

Teacher Talks

It always worries me when a teacher needs to pull me aside and discuss something that happened during the day. Of course, I've been finding that the types of things I'm told are really different from one child to another...I won't name names, but you can probably guess which child is which...

Child A

"...had a little argument with a friend which resulted in some tears...not sure what happened, but just wanted to let you know so you can discuss it with your child."

"...got a little frustrated and teared up during the art project."

"... maybe might have been a bit tired, but still did...best to participate."

Child B

"...was standing on a ball and fell face forward into the ground...and that's why we don't stand on balls."

"...was a bit upset about the art project not turning out right and stood up and threw away the artwork. I pulled it out of the trash in case you wanted to keep it and perhaps encourage your child."

"...has been spitting here and there onto the carpet, outside on the cement, and I don't know if spitting is allowed in your home, but...shouldn't be doing that here."

Now, I have to ask...why is it that for all the teacher talks for Child B, it makes me feel like a terrible parent?

Villainous Logic

The kids sneaking around a la secret agent style...

Bear: (talking to her brother) You get to be my henchman.

Chipmunk: Why? Why do I have to be the henchman?

Bear: You have all the pockets, so you get to carry everything.

Chipmunk: Okay. I'll be the henchman.

I didn't know that pockets were a regular requirement for villainy. Who knew?

Birthday Party - Lego Style

About a year ago, Chipmunk informed me that for his 5th birthday he wanted to have a lego-themed birthday party. Many moons passed, and periodically he would ask, "When am I going to have my lego party, Mommy?" Persistence must pay off, because he got exactly what he wanted.



A banner for the birthday boy...



The party-goers participated in lego crafts, even built their own cars...



...then raced them down the ramp we created...



There was a lego cake...and lego-shaped candles...



...and each kid received their party favors...lego head prize balls filled with little goodies...

Chipmunk? He was a happy camper. Despite being exhausted from partying, he continued to wear his contented smile for the rest of the day.

Like mother like daughter

My daughter was a bit upset tonight. We caught her using her Kindle when she was supposed to be sleeping, and thus the Kindle was confiscated.

She felt so guilty, she wouldn't stop crying. Matt and I tried to tell her it was okay, but she still felt sad. So I sat on her bed and began to tell her a story...

"Way back when your mom was a little girl, she used to like to read. She liked to read so much that she would hide under her blankets at night with a flashlight and book. Sometimes my mom or dad would catch me and tell me to go back to sleep, but you know what would happen only five minutes later? I would get that book and flashlight and continue reading. Sometimes I would get caught again, and sometimes I wouldn't, so I would end up reading for a long time."

Bear giggled at the thought of her mother reading books by flashlight under her bedding. She giggled again at the thought of her mother getting in trouble with her parents.

Then Bear made a confession.

"I actually use my kindle every night before bed, but I put it down when you walk by my room."

This confession made me laugh out loud.

So I hugged my daughter, kissed her on the forehead and said, "You are more like me than I realize sometimes."

The Right Reaction

Just before Christmas I remember telling the kids about showing proper appreciation for the gifts that they receive.

"It's important to be grateful for everything..."

I grilled them endlessly about how to express their thanks properly.

Then Chipmunk received a birthday present.



Looking at this picture made me realize that perhaps the kids are doing fine in expressing their thanks without my help.

What a ham.

Favorite Toys

A couple days after the Christmas frenzy...

Me: What's your favorite thing to play with, Bear?

Bear: (without hesitation) My Kindle!

Chipmunk: Not me!

Me: Why what's your favorite thing to play with?

Chipmunk: (with a big smile) My sister!

Scapegoat

Chipmunk has his own personal scapegoat...or should I say scape "bear." This 8-inch brown teddy bear has been getting into a lot of mischief lately.

Me: Where did this mess come from!? (Seeing toys spread across the floor I just cleaned up a few minutes ago)
Chipmunk: I told Bear not to make a mess, but he wouldn't listen to me and dumped the toys onto the floor. He's a naughty bear.

Chipmunk: Mommy! Help! My bear fell into the potty!
Me: How in the world did your teddy bear fall into the potty!
Chipmunk: He just jumped in there! I told him not to go in there, but he wanted to go swimming and jumped in there even though I said not to!

Chipmunk: Ow! Mommy help! (Crying follows)
Me: What happened!? (I find Chipmunk with his hand stuck at the wrist in between the door and the frame where the door hinges are)
Chipmunk: I can't get my hand out!
Me: How did you get your hand stuck in there? (I asked while running to grab a screwdriver in order to take the door off its hinges)
Chipmunk: My bear scared me and so I stuck my hand through the door! Waaaah!

I think perhaps I need to teach my son about personal responsibility...

Preschool

Here's little chipmunk peeking out from behind the door. He's excited. It's his first day of preschool. He's been talking about going to school since we moved here. Nine months later, he's finally beginning...and boy, is he excited.

He entered class, hugged his teacher, and ran off without saying goodbye to me. After a while he came back, space helmet atop his head, and gave me a big hug and a loud goodbye.

Of course, I couldn't wait to see him again at noon. I wanted to hear all about his first day of preschool.

"What did you do in preschool today, Chipmunk?" I asked eagerly.

"Nothing," he said.

"Nothing?" I said, a bit disappointed with the answer.

"I just played."

"What did you play with? Did you make new friends? Did you sing songs? Did you color? Did you like it?" I asked again trying to get more input out of him.

Chipmunk looked out the car window thoughtfully and then responded, "I'm hungry, mommy."

Sigh.

First Day of First Grade

Bear was so excited to start 1st grade today. Even though she set out her clothes last night, she still went through a couple outfit changes this morning...everything had to be just so.



She was excited to see some familiar faces in her class this year and ran to join them in line. See, she's grinning from ear to ear.

Of course, someone else was absolutely ecstatic that Bear was off to school for over 6 hours.



As soon as Bear was safely inside her class, Chipmunk pulled my arm and made sure to get out of the school grounds as fast as possible. He wouldn't even let me stop by the parents get-together in the cafeteria.

It's been two and a half hours since we dropped her off and he's still in the best mood. Coincidence? I think not.

Update: My son just admitted that he's going to play with his sister's toys while she's gone and then he said, "shhh, don't tell her!"

The Zombie Lemur

Kids are known for having wild imaginations. I'm sure if you're a parent, your child has at one time or another pretended to be a dog, a cat, or maybe even a farm animal. Perhaps they take it further than you hope, attempting to eat their meals under the table, or spending half their day on hands and knees barking and yipping away, lapping up their milk instead of drinking, or asking to be pet behind the ears.

Of course, then there's my kid.

He started making these odd noises one day, that the rest of us can't even replicate. It's kind of like an obnoxious purring.

"What are you doing?" I asked Chipmunk.

"I'm a lemur, mommy!"

"A lemur? Really? How do you know what a lemur sounds like?"

"I just do."

The following week the noises continued, and he happily ran around pretending to be a lemur, leaping from couch to couch. Then one day, during his "lemur play" he started attacking his sister.

"Help! My brother is trying to bite me!" Bear said running towards me.

"Chipmunk! What are you doing!?!" I sternly asked.

"I'm a zombie lemur, mommy!" Chipmunk said with a smile.

Sigh.

Learning by Face Plant

I wasn't a very good college student. I read my textbooks, only to find that the info wouldn't stick. I took notes through lectures, only to find I couldn't remember what my notes were about later. During crunch time, I instead had to go back to textbooks with pen in hand, take more notes, and try to figure out what it was all about. It was a slow process and I envied my friends who could recall information after one reading or lecture. I envied even more my friends who avoided lectures, sat through the review session with borrowed notes, and still managed a decent grade. I felt less intelligent.

It wasn't until I became a teacher I realized that I just learned "differently." If I had to use a qualifier, I would be a "kinesthetic" learner. I learn by "doing." I process my world using my fingers and hands. I accomplish things and learn but mostly through trial and error. I use my mistakes to backtrack and then try again.

Problem being: I have to make a lot of mistakes before getting a good result. That being said, you should ask Matt about my cooking...and my driving.

My kids? I think I'm beginning to figure them out, too. Bear doesn't learn like me.

"Bear! Please don't stick your tongue out at people. It's actually very disrespectful and not the nicest way to show how you feel."

"Okay, mommy."

That was three years ago, and she never did it again after I told her once or twice.

On the other hand...

"Chipmunk! Don't stick your tongue out at people. It's not nice! How many times do I have to tell you not to do that!"

"Chipmunk! For the last time, STOP spitting at your sister!"

"Chipmunk! How many times have I told you not to scream when you're upset. You need to talk instead of scream at the top of your lungs."

It just escalates. Most recently I've been explaining to him how unkind it is to bend over and shake his tushy at us...and no, I have no idea where he picked that up.

So yesterday at The Container Store, my little boy decided to show his sister just how he felt, by putting his hands in his pockets, bending over and shaking his little behind at her. Of course, being a bit top-heavy you can imagine what happened next...Chipmunk is sitting on the floor, holding his bleeding nose and crying.

So now I know...he's one of those kids...like me. He learns by face-plant and not by scolding. Let's just hope that this will be one of the few mistakes in his lifetime that involve injury.

Storyteller

"I love the stories that you tell about your kids..."

I get that comment a lot. I have a lot of stories. Not fables, myths, or fairy tales, but true stories. Stories of my daily life with Bear and Chipmunk and the crazy things they do each day.

"Your kids always do such great things..."

It often makes me stop and wonder whether it's just my kids that get in trouble like this...or all kids, and their parents just aren't willing to 'fess up.

I always hope it's the latter, but I'm beginning to feel like it's not.

Like the day I found water flooding out under the bathroom door, only to find an inch of water covering the bathroom floor because my kids were purposely pouring water onto the floor to make a big puddle to splash in...

Or the time I found dried spit all over and around our room fan because (as the kids admitted later) they thought it was funny to see the spit fly everywhere...

Or the time I woke up to: (1) find my daughter trying to eat a breakfast of sprinkles in a bowl, (2) the empty bag of Cheetos on the floor, or (3)the chocolate advent calendars that only lasted ONE day.

Or the day I realized our Brita pitcher was actually depositing things into our water instead of filtering out, because apparently some kids thought it would be interesting to filter their orange juice...

And today, as I was standing on a ladder ten feet off the ground in the middle of our high-ceilinged living room unwinding a toy from our ceiling fan, I thought to myself, "Don't all kids do these kinds of things or is it just mine?"

Recently at our local moms group, a speaker was emphasizing finding the humor in the crazy situations that arise because of our kids...I admit though I'm having a tough time finding the humor in each situation as each day I'm fixing something else that my kids' curiosity tampered with.

But I'm trying, and as I tell these stories I hope that my listeners will at least find the humor in them, so that perhaps one day I can laugh along with them.