Trains, Red Eggs, and Fathers...

We went out of town again this past weekend... It was a visit to the grandparents, yes, but we had a full agenda this weekend.

We took the kids to the train museum...



Bear was loving every moment. She was running around yelling, "Wow! Choo Choo Chain!"



Chipmunk enjoyed the train museum, too, in his own little way.

Saturday was Chipmunk's Red Egg and Ginger Party.



Our little man all dressed up for his shindig.



Red Eggs with Ginger



Bear eating...again.



Chipmunk had fun, but got all tuckered out after a while.

And Father's Day...Bear made sure to wish her dad and grandpa "Happy Dodders Day!" while Chipmunk decided to have a super cranky day (of which he sprouted another tooth).

Then we made the trip home...which in some ways was more daunting than the rest of the weekend...but we made it back...home sweet home.

Stunned!

Chipmunk surprised me this morning when he bit me and it felt sharp. After a few minutes of trying to convince an almost 4-month old to "open wide" I stuck my finger in there and felt it...his first tooth breaking through his gummy surface. I was stunned! I'm still stunned! Bear got her first tooth early, but not this early. I guess he's just trying to one-up his sister. Argh.

Wordless

I don't know what to write about these days. I've been suffering from writer's block.

I'm also suffering from mommy brain (wait! whose diaper did I just change?), butterfingers (broke two dishes this week!) and just general lack of common sense (let's take this out of the oven without an oven mitt!).

So I'll end here, before I hurt myself with the keyboard somehow.

White

After my shower this morning, I mentioned to Matt that I'm losing all my hair. All that hair that the pregnancy hormones helped me retain are now falling out. It's a verifiable mess since my hair has reached super lengths

In the car Matt pointed out that I had two white hairs and said. "too bad the white ones didn't fall out."

White hairs. Ever since I turned thirty, I've been finding white hairs. I think they're stress related. Or I should say that I hope they're stress related.

Of course I know one day that may not be the case...So this time I'm going to ignore that old adage about plucking out white hairs and hope beyond hope that they don't come back.

Short

Lately, I've been a little short. Short tempered, that is.

Perhaps it's because my sleep is short.

How's that for a short post?

Outdoor Babies

My kids just tend to do better when we go out. I just have to bite the bullet and pack up the car everyday so we spend some happier moments out of the house. Bear seems to be happy wherever we go as long as Sonja is there with her. Chipmunk seems to like being in outdoorsy settings. Today at the Farmers' Market he wouldn't nap, but was enjoying himself and laughing whenever the wind blew upon his face. Funny baby.

I just have such a hard time motivating myself to pack them both up into the car with all their numerous necessary accouterments.

Here's our morning at the park on Monday.



Bear enjoyed climbing. Although Dad was helping her, she would periodically yell over to me, "Yook, Mommy! Climbing!"



Why don't parks have sand anymore? What is this wooded junk covering the playground floor? Regardless, Bear seemed to enjoy throwing it around.



Chipmunk enjoyed the park in his own way, feeling the wind blow into his face.



The clouds were looking a little ominous after a while, so we couldn't spend too long, but at least our babies got to have some outdoor time.

3 months and 100 days

It still amazes me how babies magically change once they hit 3 months. Chipmunk was suddenly super-smiley and happy. And colic? What colic? It's like it never happened. I actually thought this week, "huh, I guess looking back, it wasn't that bad." Of course, when Matt reads this he'll probably give me a look and say, "Wasn't that bad?!?! Are you kidding me?"

Of course, it's probably just the mommy-endorphins talking. You know, the ones that even though pregnancy sucked, labor was short of torture, and the first 2 months after giving birth were just cry-fests day in and day out, you suddenly after a few months think, "I'm ready to give it another go!" Meanwhile, the husband is burying his head in his hands asking himself if he was the only one who remembers accurately the past few months of crazy mommy moments.

Anyway, back to Chipmunk...Today is officially his 100th day! For Bear I wrote her a poem when she met her milestone. For Chipmunk, I put together a collage of his 100 days.



Happy baek-il, Chipmunk!

Two against Two...and then some

It's two against two. Two parents versus two kids. I've heard parents discuss their choice on having only 2 kids with their reason being that once the third comes, the kids outnumber the parents. Right now our family is at a stalemate. If Bear needs something and I've got Chipmunk in hand, she gets directed to her dad, or Chipmunk gets dropped off with dad so I can attend to the Bear. It's a constant dance of "tag, you're it!" with the kids floating between us.

Then again during the day when Matt is at work, it's a whole different scenario. I have no one to pass off a kid to, so I'm juggling both of them at the same time. Of course trying to put 100% focus on two places is impossible so sometimes you miss things.

I just keeping thinking about how in the world I'll be able to keep tabs on both kids when Chipmunk becomes mobile.

Speaking of mobile, I loved how Bear pretty much stayed in the same place until she was 7 months old. Chipmunk gave Matt and I a scare one day when we found him napping like this:



He was two feet from where he started! I guess I really better start putting him down for his naps in his crib from now on.

Liars

My mom always tells me that our kids have this knack for making liars out of us. I often write about how my kids are little "troublemakers," yet when we go out, or are in the midst of other people, my kids are little angels. Bear, of course, is the charmer, smiling her cute little smile, waving hello, sharing Sonja, and of course, being her wonderful little self. Chipmunk is super-mellow, smiles at anyone, and loves to chat up a storm if you get him in the right mood.

So no one but us sees the pouting, crying, temper tantrums, whining and all in all everyday fussing. I guess if there are no witnesses, then we can't prove we actually have 2 little "troublemakers." I guess we'll just have to live as supposed liars.

No More Expectations

Bear has been sleeping in her new bed these past couple of days. So far it's been a relatively easy transition. I was surprised. We put her down for her nap yesterday for the first time in her bed...she seemed hesitant, but I offered to lay down next to her and she agreed. That night, she whined a little bit, but lay down in the bed as long as Matt stayed there for a little bit. Today for her nap she lay down without a fuss and kicked me out of the room so she could get some shut-eye. I see.

The funny thing is she still acts like she's sleeping in the crib. She won't get out of the bed herself although it's only a half a foot off the ground. It's fine with us that she won't leave her bed until we come get her, but I thought that she'd love the instant freedom and hightail it out of her bed the moment she awoke. Not the case. I realize that one of these days she'll figure it out, but for now Matt and I realize that we have a good kid who is a good sleeper.

On the other hand, we have our 3 month old who we find has been "different" from Bear. Bear started sleeping through the night at 9 weeks. Chipmunk is 12 weeks and refuses to sleep through the night. He likes to wake up after 5 hours, eat, sleep for another 2 hours, eat, sleep for another 2 hours, eat and then sleep until the late morning. Bear would cry for about 10 minutes when we put her down and would fall asleep sucking on her fist. Chipmunk cries loudly for 30-45 minutes and then stops suddenly to fall asleep. During the day, he will not cry himself to sleep...he will cry until I finally soothe him to sleep. They're so different.

Bear was very scheduled. I didn't have to set her schedule, she basically set it herself. Chipmunk has no schedule whatsoever and all attempts at putting him on a schedule have failed miserably. Then again, Bear's naps were only 30 minutes at a time sometimes...Chipmunk naps for hours and hours, that is once he finally falls asleep. It's just too weird. I can't get over how opposite things have been so far.

I don't know what I was expecting, but it seems that whatever I expect is just wrong. I expected Bear to have a horrible time transitioning to a new bed and she's fine. I expected Chipmunk to have similar sleep patterns as Bear and he's completely the opposite. I expected Bear to have a hard time adjusting to Chipmunk's arrival, but she was completely okay. I expected to have an easier time feeding Chipmunk, but he's really difficult sometimes. He won't take all his milk at one time, likes to let go and make a mess, and he bites! Perhaps I should just stop having expectations.

Overshadowing

Every Mother's Day our church has child dedications. Yesterday we dedicated Chipmunk...he is young, but we figured, hey, now is as good a time as any. So we stood up in front of the congregation as a family and read our prayer to God for Chipmunk. It was good for us to remember that raising our kids isn't just making sure they're fed and washed, but teaching them values and character and the importance of spiritual care.

Our church is a decent size, so it can be rather daunting standing up in front and having all eyes focused on you. Then again while I was reading our prayer, most of the congregation was focusing their attention on Bear. From the corner of my eye I noticed her walk up to our pastor and proudly announce, "Doh-dya!" as she handed Sonja over to him. There was some snickering from the pews and I could see people smiling. When I finished reading, our pastor introduced Sonja to the whole congregation much to the delight of Bear.

After service ended quite a number of people came up to remark how "not shy" Bear was. True. Most dedications I've witnessed the older siblings are trying their best to become permanently attached to their parents' legs. Bear wandered around the stage as if she owned it.

So even though the dedication was supposed to be for Chipmunk, Bear apparently stole the show. Sometimes I wonder if their sibling relationship is going to be like that with Bear "overshadowing" her brother most of the time and Chipmunk just going along with whatever Bear does.

It reminded me of a time four years ago when my sister, my cousin (along with her husband and their then three kids at the time), and I visited our mutual fifth grade teacher who was retiring after thirty something years. It was amazing to see how after all these years she still loved kids and treated them with so much respect. I was in awe of her teaching skills most especially watching her interact with my cousin's two oldest. They were inspecting a strange something she had on display and the 6 year old asked what it was. Instead of just telling him she asked, "what do you think it is?" His response was "a feather." And instead of ignoring the 4 year old who was watching quietly a couple of feet away, she turned to him and asked, "and how about you?" He said, "a feather." Then she did something that really struck me. She said, "that's what your brother thinks, but what do you think it is?" The 4 year old looked at it again, thought about it and said, "I guess it looks like a snake." She smiled and told them it was the shed skin of a snake. She then bent down to the 4 year old's level, tapped him on the nose, smiled and said, "you are your own person...you make sure that you always say what you think and not what your brother thinks, okay?" It was very important to her that each kid expressed their own opinion, not just that day with my cousin's kids, but also as we were her students.

Needless to say, I'm curious to see how things will turn out with Bear and Chipmunk. Perhaps one of these days Chipmunk will develop his own strong personality and fight it out with his sister...or perhaps he'll be the quiet type who keeps his thoughts to himself allowing his sister to overshadow who he is. If that's the case, I'll have to learn how to create teachable moments as my fifth grade teacher did in order to help out Chipmunk's thoughts and opinions. Sibling dynamics. Interesting. I guess we'll just have to wait and see how things progress with them. I'll be sure to keep you all posted.


Our Mother's Day family picture

Mother's Day?

There was a tradition in my family growing up. Mother's Day was always terrible for my mom. It wasn't purposeful, but somehow throughout a day of what was supposed to celebrate our mom, my siblings and I would cause her more heartache. We would fight more for some reason, were more tired, crankier, threw more tantrums and fits, and were just horrible. By the end of the long day we spent more time apologizing to her rather than celebrating. I don't know what it was about that day.

I woke up on Mother's Day feeling super tired after a long night with Chipmunk to hear Bear pounding on the wall much earlier than was normal. We rushed to church, almost missed the child dedication, and then spent some time after service chatting with some friends. This is how Bear and Chipmunk spent the time:



Bear was tired and tried to throw a little tantrum at one point by throwing herself head first onto the floor. She was surprised to find that it hurt (well, I think she didn't realize that just beneath the carpet at church was concrete). Crying followed.



Chipmunk spent his time complaining and whining. He wanted to sleep, but wouldn't just sleep on his own. He also would ask to be fed, but then would use the time to bite his mom. Ouch.

Ah, fun.

For my mommy...

I was 6 when I opened my lunch and found a gummy smurf candy next to my sandwich and fruit. I knew it was from my mom and I loved it. It made my day.

I was 10 when I found out I was the kid with the "cool" mom. You know, the one that other kids always envied and wished was their own. My friends were all plotting how they could convince their moms to let them get their ears "double-pierced" and I didn't have to plot. My mom was the one with the double piercing, and she already asked if I wanted to do the same...I was chicken and said, "no."

I was 11 when I understood how difficult it must have been for my mom to be there for us while handling a full-time job. She took an odd job where she worked from midnight to noon just so she could be there to pick us up from school each day and spend the afternoons with us, when I know she probably just wanted to lay down in bed and snooze.

I was 13 when I was most hard on my mom...Well, I was a teenager. I was a hormonal, moody, teenager who slammed doors and thought that all rules were for sadistic purposes. Yet she was the one who was always there, talking things out with me, putting up with my emotional outbursts, and trying to reason with me when I was completely irrational. Being an unreasonable teenager I didn't take her words as seriously as I should have.

I was 17 when I had an epiphany and realized my mom was right. I was also living in a dorm, in a college, 110 miles away...I spent a lot of time on the phone calling home that year.

I was 20 when I figured out what a wonderful mother-daughter relationship we had when I read my 20th birthday card from her...I remember the vivid honesty in her words and I just cried when I read it. That was when I learned that a mom can also be one of your best friends.

I was 28 when I realized just how much my mom loved me. Holding my own daughter in my arms I learned all too quickly how tough it is being a mom...how often moms are taken for granted...how sacrifice is an everyday thing...how changing diapers and cleaning spit up is only the beginning of a lifelong process...how much patience is necessary...how dramatically life-altering it is...yet, moms do it all out of love and nothing more...

Thank you, mom. I love you, too.



Happy Mother's Day.

Accidental Troublemaker

Since Chipmunk has been born, Bear has been getting into trouble...a lot. The problem is she's not jealous or acting out towards him. She's just trying to be helpful...or playful...or she's just curious.

I found cookies all over the floor today. She was trying to sort them into two bowls because she wanted to share her cookies with me. Later I heard Chipmunk start wailing. I found him with a stuffed dog on his face that Bear left for him to "play" with. I scolded her later for pushing me as I was changing Chipmunk's diaper, but really she was making room for herself so she could watch. Just a few minutes ago, she was trying to share the remote with her brother but instead conked him on the head accidentally. Last night at dinner she spilled a bowl of food because she was determined to "help" daddy and serve him some potatoes.

It must be rough being a toddler, not really understanding what all these rules are for and people constantly telling you "no" all the time. I try to allow her the freedom to grow, to help her use her creativity and explore through her curiosity, but I find myself having to referee some of her endeavors. Telling her to sit down when we eat, reminding her that baby brothers need their space, and how sometimes we don't want a third helping of salad on our plates are just a few of the things I tell her daily.

She discovered the bouncer works great as a catapult, problem being Chipmunk tends to be the object she tries to catapult. One day she happily yelled, "hat!," while playing with plastic measuring cups and even tried them out on Chipmunk's head. She then yelled, "hammer!" which followed with an ear piercing 11 week old's cry...needless to say a timeout followed. She wants to give her brother a hug and instead of lightly embracing she pulls and tugs at him in an attempt to hold him herself, while we're trying to make sure she doesn't pull off an appendage.

She's slowly learning...and I guess this is just how kids learn that there are boundaries and limits...which in my mind are truly hard to set. I realize that there are some rules that are more important than others. Those regarding her safety and of others around her are most important. I'm also a stickler for rules that promote family togetherness and those that teach manners and politeness. It's just so hard to see her tear up because, well, she meant well, suddenly feels guilty for making her brother cry, and now she's being punished? Poor kid. I hope she'll understand someday soon.

Oh yes...

And before I forget...the numbers...

Chipmunk at 10 weeks

14 pounds and 12 ounces (95th percentile!)

Whoa baby!

Readjusting

This past weekend we took a mini-trip. The main purpose was to attend the wedding of a good friend of ours, but we also managed to visit with the grandparents and great-grandparents and let them spend time with their grandchildren.

Bear spent some time in my grandmother's garden picking callalilies with my mom. She was fascinated with the insides of the flower.



Chipmunk spent his time lounging in my grandfather's favorite chair.



After a jam-packed weekend of visiting friends, attending a wedding, hanging out with grandparents on both sides of the family, we managed to get home.

It's always hard readjusting to being at home again. Nap times and feeding times are all out of synch and the kids are little bit more rebellious. Bear spent her time fighting nap time, so much so that she didn't nap at all, fell asleep early, woke up in the middle of the night from having a nightmare and then slept till 10 am the next morning. Chipmunk would sleep during wake time and was awake during sleep time and fed at odd times.



We also had to take him for his 2 month appointment the next morning (first set of shots!) so he spent the day fighting off his innoculations with a slight fever.

You see, there's always this time of readjustment after each trip we take. The longer we're on a trip, the longer it takes to readjust. I figure it takes about 2-3 days to readjust back to our home routine.

It's slowly getting there, but we're starting to slowly readjust...until we take another trip, that is.

Arm Exercise

The other day I was complaining to Matt that my arms were getting sore.

Today I weighed Chipmunk and the scale blinked 14 pounds at me.

Seriously, what is this kid eating?

Encounters

I was at one of my favorite stores today and after toting around two kids and returning the cart, I ran into one of my former students. He was an employee there and he was running around picking up the floating carts in the lot.

He actually approached me first and started to say, "Are you...", but I interrupted him with "Hey! How are you?!" I think he thought I wouldn't recognize him, but of course, I did.

I remember him being one of the students who would sit in my class with this serious glower on his face and I was sure he was just counting down the minutes till he could be free of the tortures of Biology.

But now, he had the biggest smile on his face and was talking to me about how things were going for him lately. He even asked me how I was doing.

It's just nice to see my students being grown ups rather than ridden with teenage angst.

Encounters like these happen all the time. I just happen to live close enough to where I taught that I happen to run into my former students quite often. So far I haven't had any encounters where the student cusses me out and tells me how I failed them. So far they've all been pleasant. I hope it stays that way.

Bear the Artist

Bear and I were coloring the other day. She picked up her purple crayon and started drawing. I asked her, "What are you drawing?"

"I color happy face!" Bear said with a smile.

Then she pointed to different parts of her drawing and pointed out the eyes, the nose, the mouth and the hair.

I was impressed. Can you see her happy face in her drawing?

Sometimes Being A Mom Sucks...

It always amazes me how some moms can get out of the house dressed up, hair done, make-up on and towing their spotless kids behind them. I feel happy if I brushed my teeth that morning.

Or I wonder how some moms have their home spotless, organized and pristine...dishes are clean and put away, toys are in their places, carpets are clean and dust free. I on the other hand usually find banana squished into my carpet, usually found accidentally with my bare foot.

So I wonder whether some moms just have it all together or they just hide it very well. I know for a fact that I don't have anything together, and trust me I can't hide it even if I tried.

A mother of three told me last weekend that I seemed like I was handling well being a mom of two. I told her, "Handling? I don't know. I don't know if it's handling well or just doing it because it has to be done." She nodded in agreement.

So I asked a mom of four how she does it...how she handles being home with four to care for. Her response (and I love the honesty) was that "usually when the youngest one cries, [she's] crying with her."

Ah. I see. Sometimes being a mom sucks. It's tough. It's rough. It sometimes makes you want to cry. Sometimes we just aren't at our best (or even close).

So why do we try so hard to make it seem like we've got it all together when we're really not? Is there really such thing as a "super mom?" If so, I'd like to meet her and see whether or not she actually gets any sleep. Meanwhile, I'm quite happy being "not-so-super" mom just trying to get through each day. I guess if I took the time to clean myself and my house up, I'd never get the time to spend hugging and enjoying the company of my kids. Here's to all you "not-so-super" moms out there...I think you're the best!

Mommy Unaware

Matt doesn't understand why I don't notice when he gets haircuts. I don't notice when anyone gets haircuts...that is, unless there were multiple feet of hair chopped off. It's just not one of those things I notice. It always amazes me, those women, who notice when someone gets even just a trim.

So it's always a game we play. Matt gets a haircut and waits to see how long it takes me to notice.

Last Saturday Matt got a haircut after work. Bear saw her dad for the first time that day and said, "Daddy Hair!"

I just don't get it.

Similarities

I saw this picture of Chipmunk and laughed because it reminded me so much of a post we wrote on Bear around the same age.



The similarities are there...

Happy Face!

I agree with Nina that toddlers are all about obsessions. Bear's latest obsession is all about happy faces.

If you happen to color with her, she'll probably demand that you draw a happy face. If you're lucky, she'll draw one for you, too.

Whenever we make the trip to Costco, it's always her responsibility to hand the receipt to the folks that check the carts when we exit. They always draw a happy face for her on the back of the receipt and she will stare at it with glee all the way to the car.

When Chipmunk starts to grimace, she yells out, "Baby Happy Face!" Okay, so he's not really smiling, but at least she's trying to understand the concept. I don't know if "frowning" is in her vocabulary yet.

This morning she took apart a box of wipes and ran up to me yelling, "happy face! happy face! happy face!" This is what she showed me:



She really is seeing happy faces everywhere.

6 Weeks

Here's a picture that Matt snapped of Chipmunk smiling.



It's these moments that remind me that all the rest of the hardships that we're going through are worth it.

Chipmunk has so far been at his worst when it comes to colic. I'm hoping that this is the peak of the fussiness and crying. He used to cry for part of the day...these past few days he's been crying most of the day. At night he won't sleep unless I'm holding him.

He also hates being in the car. He cries loudly until he goes hoarse whenever we're driving places. So driving long distances aren't really an option right now. Fortunately, the crying doesn't bother Bear much. She aptly tells me, "Baby crying! Baby Hung-gy (Hungry)" and then most of the time just falls asleep to the background noise of the wailing. Impressive.

So it doesn't matter. He cries at home, he cries in the car. I will just have to deal with it until the colic disappears. Just pray that I can remain sane and keep some semblance of patience in the meantime. And while I wait, I can always enjoy his smiles here and there...reminding me that the constant crying is just temporary.

Longing for a Haircut

Reasons to Cut My Hair:

1) The last time I had it cut, Bear was in the womb.
2) I have to use Costco size bottles of conditioner in order to have enough to condition it.
3) Brushing is a painful ordeal. Bear actually copies me by pretending to brush her own hair. She even says, "ow ow ow."
4) Every time I sit down I sit on my hair.
5) Every time I lay down I lay on my hair.
6) Chipmunk likes to grab the loose hairs while he feeds. Ouch.
7) It takes forever to dry.
8) Last but not least, Someone out there could really use my hair.

One of these days I will get to it.

Mommy and Me Time

Since Chipmunk needs to be held a lot, Bear often has to do things on her own. She's a trooper though and doesn't seem to mind too much that I'm always carrying the Chipmunk around. Because of that I've been trying to find some special time for just the two of us to hang out and have fun. There is this span of time in the late afternoon where Chipmunk is sleeping and she's ready and refreshed after her nap that's perfect for some Mommy & Bear activities.

Today's activity was egg dying. She was so excited as I was diluting all the dyes, it was a task keeping her from spilling them. I even pulled out the non-washable crayons for her to color her eggs with. She was so thrilled that she slammed a couple of the eggs on the table and cracked them. Whoops.



Here are her eggs. She's so proud of them and even adorned them with stickers later on.



I tried to get a nice picture of Bear with her eggs, but she developed a "camera smile." You know, the ones kids force when they say "cheese." Unfortunately, her fake smile makes it look like she's in pain in most of her pictures.

Despite the look on her face, I think she had a good time.

Deprivation and Reward

When you lack something, it helps you appreciate it all the more when it comes.

Last night I got to sleep for 3 and a half hours straight. Wow, it felt great. Yup. Chipmunk slept for a 4 and a half hour stretch.

More of a schedule is finally settling in. Chipmunk actually gave us 2 colic free nights.

And the snot? Well, that's starting to lessen as well.

Aaaah.

Then again, we won't know what will happen tomorrow.

(Sorry, haven't posted any pictures...well, because my children were snotty)

Surviving

It's been rough. I won't lie. Having 2 sick kids takes a lot out of you. Bear wakes constantly at night and is super tired and cranky during the day. She also has these nice canker sores which she complains about constantly and keeps her from eating. Chipmunk has trouble staying asleep and has trouble eating with his stuffy nose (along with his bouts of crying for hours). Both of them have had fits of coughing and our humidifier has been on constantly. Gratefully there are no fevers...just a lot of snot.

But we're surviving...snot and all.

On the other hand, I've been super industrious. Well, some women shop when they're having a rough time. I clean. I don't just vacuum and wash dishes. I rearrange furniture and scrub grout between tiles with old toothbrushes.

I should be sleeping though...and perhaps I shouldn't be moving furniture either.

Numbers

30 - the number of minutes it takes to pack 2 kids into the car

19 - the number of times I told Bear to stop waking up her brother this morning

17 - the number of diapers I changed yesterday

9 - the number of times Chipmunk woke up out of a sound nap suddenly, usually from snorting (stuffy nose)

8 - the number of times Bear lost Sonja and ran through the house screaming for her

6 - the number of dirty outfits I changed yesterday

5 - the number of hours Chipmunk was up last night crying

4 - the number of Curious George episodes I had to watch today

3 - the number of hours of sleep I got last night(in 3 different parts)

2 - the number of kids in this house with colds involving stuffy noses

1 - the number of tired moms in this house

One Down, Two to Go

When I was a first time parent with Bear, I spent most of the first month feeling like I was doing something wrong. Actually, I spent most of the first year feeling like I was doing something wrong. Seasoned parents would tell me that "3 months" was the magic number. "Just wait 3 months," they said, "it'll seem much better then." Of course it was hard for me to imagine with a screaming one month old day in and day out. When 3 months rolled around, it was like magic...the colicky symptoms went away, a better schedule was established and I felt much more at ease about being a parent.

I find that having experienced the dramatic difference of 3 months, I've been impatiently waiting for Chipmunk to hit that point. I find myself muttering things like, "only 8 more weeks to go" or "one month down, two more to go." Now that Chipmunk has hit the 1 month mark though, I realize that 4 weeks came and went much quicker than I expected.

So perhaps I should stop looking forward to "3 months" and just enjoy "right now" because I'm afraid I'm going to miss out on something special...like the joy of having a newborn...

Whoa Mama!

I've read that newborns are supposed to gain on average an ounce a day. Sixteen days ago Chipmunk was 8 pounds which was 13 ounces less than his birth weight. Today he weighed in at 9 pounds 8 ounces! That's 24 ounces in 16 days! The doctor took a look at the chart and said "Whoa Mama, what have you been feeding this boy?"

Suffice it to say I'm not too worried about his weight anymore...however I am concerned about his feeding habits. When you're feeding a child every two hours it wears you down after a while. I hope he grows out of this growth spurt soon and slows down the frequency of his feedings. I really do need longer intervals of sleep. I think 20 minutes at a time just isn't healthy.

Entertaining ourselves

When you're sleep deprived, you've got to entertain yourself somehow.



Thanks, Matt, for making me laugh.

Falling Asleep Standing

I took a Humanities class during my freshman year of college where the most interesting part of the class was seeing how many people were sleeping through the lecture the morning after a paper was due. One time, there was this poor soul who obviously ran to class to turn the paper in time, was too late to get an actual seat, ended up having to sit on the steps of the lecture hall, where he promptly fell asleep and snored loudly (to the amusement of those sitting around him) throughout the hour and a half of lecture.

Ah, sleep...so very necessary...yet so fleeting when you've got a newborn.

This time around I've been trying harder to get rest when I can...especially with our little Chipmunk who has daytime and nightime reversed...so he's up all night, and come morning, up rises Bear who needs my attention as well. So my sleep has been short and sporadic. I think if I had to sit through a Humanities lecture right now, I'd be the one snoring.

Granted, Chipmunk is more predictable since he's our second kid...we're able to read him better than we could as new parents with Bear...so it's not as frustrating...just more sleep depriving. I'm amazed that Matt can get up to go to work at 6:30 in the morning after a night of sleeping in a chair with Chipmunk in his lap.

So, I'm afraid that one of these days I'll catch myself falling asleep while standing. Now that would be something to see.

All About Personality...

Chipmunk had his follow up appointment with the doctor today. As I feared, he hasn't really been gaining any weight. I know, he was 8 pounds 13 ounces when he was born, which is quite sizable, but when we left he weighed just 8 pounds. Babies do lose weight during those first few days...but they're not supposed to lose that much.

So today he weighed 8 pounds...still. I was a little disappointed. I felt that perhaps I wasn't feeding him well enough...

So the doctor asked me a ton of questions...turns out he is eating...he just likes to take his merry, sweet time. For example, last night he ate for about an hour and a half straight. He drank the whole time, just very...very...slowly.

The doctor said that he was alert, well-hydrated and probably gaining weight (assuming he lost some weight after we left the hospital, too)...his personality was just too mellow and easy-going to be a vigorous eater.

Too mellow and easy-going to eat? Too lazy to eat, perhaps. It's so opposite from Bear's first few days who was constantly hungry and ate too quickly.

Different personalities? I guess we'll soon find out.

Rare Moment

Bear is fast asleep.

Chipmunk is fast asleep.

Matt is fast asleep.

It's 4:30 in the afternoon.

I'm awake watching chick flicks.

I think this is going to be a rare moment, indeed.

Our Hungry Chipmunk

Just wanted to update with some pictures of our little "chipmunk."



He was a big boy when he was born. He continues to amaze us with his superior eating abilities. He actively eats for an hour and then asks for more. I just don't have enough for him. He practically eats another meal right afterwards of what is supposed to be "supplemental" formula.

Here's Bear with her brother.



She came to the hospital everyday...ran into the room, wouldn't say hi to mom or dad, but would run over to her brother and yell out, "Hi Baby!" Ever since the chipmunk came home, she's been hugging and kissing him, patting his head and trying to tickle him.

Here's our family of four:



Whoa. Four. That's going to take some getting used to.

Turkey is done... (by padawanlee)

Just an update for everyone. Our newest member of the family came out healthy and well done today. He was born at 12:30pm at 8 lbs 13 oz and 20 inches long. Both mom and baby are resting and doing well in the hospital, mom is recovering well from the delivery and dad is happy that everyone is well and he is adjusting to being a parent of a newborn again. There will be no more tickets for sale for the traveling mommy show anymore but a new attraction will be soon taking its place. More updates and pictures to follow once we settle down.

Thank you all for your support, prayers, and words of encouragement over the past few months as God has blessed our family with this new baby boy.

Will Write Again Soon

One year for Thanksgiving I remember shopping for turkeys and considering the number of people we decided to get a 10 pound turkey. Comparatively, it's a small turkey.

I apparently have a small turkey inside me. He's estimated to be 9 pounds (give or take a pound) and he's stubbornly hanging out in the wrong position.

No, I don't know how this baby turned out to be 9 pounds. It was quite a shock for Matt and myself (Bear was only 7 lbs).

Apparently our turkey is done baking. He's being removed from the oven tomorrow at noon.

Will write again soon.

Welcome to the Freak Show...

You ever have the feeling that wherever you go people are looking at you funny?

Everywhere I go these days I feel like that. I feel like a freak show.

It's interesting to see people's reactions. Some people smile. Some people shake their heads. Some people have a pained expression on their face. Some try to discreetly point me out as they whisper to their companions. Some have the courage to even speak to me.

"You just have one in there, right?"

"Wow, you must be due soon!"

"You look like you're ready to pop!"

That's me. A one-woman freak show. Better get your tickets soon, the show will hopefully be ending shortly.

Eat Hot Dog? (by padawanlee)

I wonder when kids actually learn to read. Yesterday we went to Costco to pick up some supplies before baby #2's arrival and as we pulled into the parking lot Bear commented from the backseat "eat dinner, hot dog". Carina and I looked at each other with a befuddled look comprehending what Bear just said. One, we didn't mention hot dogs at all during the car trip and second, the Costco we were at was not the usual one we shop at. So either Baby Bear can read signs now or she had a strange craving for a hot dog... what do you think?

Bear is Swedish, Yah?

It's fun to ask Bear questions these days. She actually answers. I remember a couple of years ago when I'd be walking through the grocery store and asking Bear questions like, "Should we have pork or beef?" and the most of a reaction I'd get from her was a coo or a smile. I do realize that I talked to myself a lot those first few months of parenthood.

As one who is not well-versed in the art of baby talk, I tend to talk to Bear like she's an adult. Yesterday I caught myself telling her, "You really need to work on your organizational skills." Ha ha...like that's going to happen any time soon (as I groan and pick up a billion toys off the floor while I'm practically 9 months pregnant).

It's just nice to hear an actual response to my questions when I ask them now.

The only thing I'm a little puzzled about is how my toddler came to respond to questions with "Yah" instead of "Yes." She used to use the latter (and I love how she emphatically nods her head at the same time). Recently, she's decided to answer questions affirmatively with "Yah."

Last week a friend came over and asked Bear, "Are you going to be a good big sister to the baby?" Bear bobbed her head up and down a few times and said, "Yah!"

Later in the week I asked her, "Bear do you want an apple?" She responded, "eat appoh(apple), yah!"

Apparently, Bear is becoming European.

A Little Goodbye

If I wasn't 38 weeks pregnant and having irregular contractions, I'd probably be making my way up to Nor Cal right about now.

When I was pregnant with Bear, one of my hopes was that she would get to meet her great great grandma (or "big big ma ma" as she called her)...I just thought, "how neat would it be for all five generations to be together in one room...how precious it would be." So they met, and although Bear probably won't remember...and her great great grandma wasn't even sure who we all were...it was still a sweet moment where we could capture the 5 generations in a photo op.

About an hour ago I heard the news that my kun halmoni passed away. I wish I could be there to say goodbye...Instead this will have to do.



We'll miss you kun halmoni and "big big ma ma."

Hard, Easy, Hard, Easy...

No, I'm not writing about eggs...

A couple nights ago a father of four told me that in his experience (and also comparing with some other parents that he knew) the first child is always hard, the second is easier (emphasis on "er"), the third is again hard, and then the fourth is easy.

I thought about that for a while and then I wondered, "Is Bear hard or easy to raise?" We know the answer is "hard" but apparently appearances can be deceiving. We've heard way too often about how Bear seems so easy...ha ha ha...that's funny.

But if Bear is an easy child to raise and we've just been overdramatizing everything in our heads, then does that mean we are going to give birth to a little hellraiser in a couple of weeks? I don't know if we are ready for that.

Two Years and a Thank You

I realized the other day that our blog is coming upon 2 years now...and what once started as a place I could just express myself while being trapped at home with a newborn has now become a glimpse into the world that we like to call "our family."

First off, just wanted to send out a little "thanks" to all of you readers out there whoever you are. Whether you are friend, family or friends of the friends and family, we appreciate your visit to our humble little site that mostly revolves around one silly little girl.

Just for fun, I thought I'd provide links to some of our favorite moments in the past 2 years...

Why Bear cried during bathtime (9-11-2007)
Why you should never leave a child unattended with yogurt (4-17-07)
Why Matt wonders where his genes went (3-2-07)
Why Daddy was saying "Doh"(12-22-06)
Why 11 month olds shouldn't play with fruit(11-12-06)
How Kids pick things up so easily when you're not there(7-9-06)

Stay tuned...I'm quite sure more stories and laughs are to come.

Christmas Wrap-Up

Sometimes I wonder if Bear will remember any of these moments. My earliest memory was when I was 3 years old and my sister was born...Perhaps it's ingrained in my memory because it was such a happy (er...traumatic) moment in my life. My brother once recalled a moment when he was 2. I've heard that (although rare) some people actually remember being in their cribs watching their mobiles. Spooky. Whatever the case may be, I still wonder how much Bear is impacted by all of these moments in her life.

Christmas

We spent Christmas with Matt's family in Sacramento this year. It was nice. Bear had a great time eating and of course, opening presents (Abre Peh-sent?). As I've been heading towards immobility, it was nice having lots of family around to care for and entertain Bear. Being as inquisitive as she is, Bear followed Grandma and Grandpa around constantly asking, "What doing?"

After Christmas

For Bear's birthday we headed West and visited my side of the family. Bear continued to eat and open presents. We went to this pizza place in Berkeley called Zachary's. For those of you who have never been, their pizza is a serious deep dish pizza. I could only manage one slice. Bear meanwhile ate about half a salad and almost 2 pieces of pizza. Amazing.

Fun Being 2

Bear rode a carousel for the first time. I couldn't tell if she was enjoying it while she was riding it, but after she got off she promptly told me "Dun (Fun)."

I think throughout our week in Nor Cal, I enjoyed most watching Bear take in all of her surroundings. We took walks in Sacramento where she was fascinated with leaves and rocks and grass. Visiting her Great Grandma she enjoyed opening all the cabinets and finding "treasures" here and there. Even when it was just so cold Bear was running around in her blue parka on the grass or she was watching the rainfall. We even had an engrossing conversation about "poo" when she asked about the brown turd on the car window (B: Bir poo poo? Me: Yes, all animals poo poo. [later in the conversation] B: Tanta poo poo? Me: Does Santa poo poo? Uh, I don't know.).



Going Home

This year we didn't have to stuff a 4 foot pink pony into our car...but if anyone looked in our trunk they would have thought that we were building an altar for Dora the Explorer (Dora clothes, Dora games, Dora books, Dora bandages?). I guess brand marketing worked on this family.

After a week Matt and I were exhausted...on the other hand, Bear was revved up and even more of a conversationalist than when we arrived. Seven hours (of toddler conversation) later we arrived home and rang in the New Year by falling asleep.

Ah, good times.


Bear's 1st Christmas Gift of 2007 from her mom and dad

Why I Can't Count...

Someone asked me about a month ago how far along I was in this pregnancy. I thought about it, but was really puzzled because I had absolutely no clue. I just answered, "I don't know...somewhere in the 3rd trimester, I think?"

I just can't count the weeks this time around. I actually signed up at Babycenter for weekly emails to tell me how far along I am. Otherwise, I have to grab others who are pregnant (and counting) so I can somehow figure out where I am compared to them.

Honestly there's a lot of things I don't know about this pregnancy. We still don't know the gender of the baby (not without lack of trying). I haven't really read any books to prepare for this baby. I don't even know if we have everything we need for this baby. Perhaps I should at least pack my bag for the hospital.

Sometimes I feel as if I should have more anxiety than I presently do...especially since so many people give me a nervous look and say, "You're due in February? I don't think you're going to make it to February." And yet, I look at the toys spilled all over our floor and I feel more compelled to get that cleaned up rather than think about the future (which is quickly approaching).

So I will just enjoy sitting with Bear and watch her take in the world around her. She's even started counting objects on her own (one, two, fee, door, dive, tix, eben, eight, nine, twendy!) Perhaps I'll have her keep track of this pregnancy for me.

The Best Day of the Year?

I overheard Matt explaining to Bear this morning that today (Jan 1st) is the "best day of the year." He said, "you can watch football all day!" Bear just responded by asking for more juice.

My only thought though is what happened to the names of all the beloved bowl games? Seriously, what is a "Chick-Fil-A" Bowl? Or even better..."Capital One" Bowl? Okay, so I'm not going to watch any of these bowl games, but I just had to ask.

Happy New Year!

So it's about 11:00 pm on New Year's Eve and I'm about ready to tuck myself in and drift off into needed sleep. How sad is that? Has counting down to the new year lost it's luster since entering into parenthood? I guess so. The last time I truly remember celebrating the new year was when we rang in 2005.

But I still wanted to wish everyone a Happy New Year! I hope 2008 brings you days of hope, joy and peace.

I feel so lame skipping out on the countdown, but hey if you had 7 hours in the car with this, you'd be tired, too.

Bear: Mommy!

Me: Yes!

Bear: Mommy!

Me: What is it?

Bear: Mommy! Mommy!

Me: Yes! Did you want to tell me something?

Bear: Mommy!

Me: Okay, yes, that's my name.

Bear: Mommy! Mommy!

Me: Are you going to tell me something or what?

Bear: Mommy! Mommy!

Me: Aargh!

Strong Impression Made

We haven't written in a while...mostly because we've been sleep deprived. So when choosing to nap or blog, uh, well, I'm sure you know what the answer is. Bear has been having some sleeping issues...we don't know why, although we've been over many possible theories....but that's not why I blog today.

Actually, something interesting happened yesterday while the three of us were out doing some Christmas shopping. We were standing in line waiting to pay for a box set of DVDs when Bear caught the attention of the 2 women standing in front of us (usual occurence for our little attention getter). They started smiling and waved at Bear. Bear smiled back with her teethy grin and said, "hi!" Then one of the women said that she remembered seeing Bear before. Her exact words were, "Yeah, I remember seeing her about a month ago at [a restaurant] where she was thoroughly enjoying a plate of fruit...I remember that smile of hers too."

How odd is that? We weren't anywhere in the vicinity of that restaurant at the time, and it was true, we were at that restaurant a month previously. Apparently, Bear leaves some strong impressions. Amazing.

Conversations with Toddlers

As Bear continues to develop, I've been finding that conversations with her are becoming more interesting. Sometimes there is actually some substance to our "chats."

For example, yesterday...

Me: Bear, do you need to use the potty?

Bear: No, pah-yee(potty)...change die-ber(diaper). I yike die-ber.

Me: But you're becoming a big girl. You're still my baby girl, but there will be another baby soon and you'll be the big sister.

Bear: Baby? (and proceeds to rub my belly) My Baby?

Me: Yes, the baby will be yours, too.

Bear: (pointing to her belly) Baby here?

Me: No, you don't have a baby. Only mommy has the baby.

Bear: Eji Tales?(Veggie Tales?)

Me: Uh, okay, you can watch some Veggie Tales.

Okay, so she changes the subject quicker than a fox jumping over a lazy dog, but hey, this is the closest to a heart-to-heart chat we've ever had. I'll take what I can get.

Thanksgiving Weekend

Hope that all of you out there had wonderful holiday weekends.

I was trying to think of a way to cleverly sum up our weekend, but as I have been Mrs. Scatterbrain lately, cleverness just isn't my thing. Other than that, I'm sure that Matt will tell you that I have been "nesting" to full capacity...at least until a week or so ago when I hit a wall...and now I've just been doing a lot of complaining.

But back to Thanksgiving weekend...

After watching my mom madly shop for and cook mass quantities of eats, we had a wonderful dinner with family. Bear managed to eat half of the grape tomatoes on her own and half a box of tangerines. As usual, she entertained everyone with her silly antics. Pictures will have to come later.

Saturday was Bear's first trip to Disneyland to help celebrate Auntie R's birthday. She had this look on her face most of the day:



Bear was overwhelmed and couldn't believe that she was seeing her cartoon heroes in person. She managed to give Goofy, Mickey and Minnie a kiss. She even shared Sonja with Mickey. That lucky mouse.

We managed to get on a few rides. Surprisingly, Bear can ride more rides than I can at this point. We stuck with the ones that we all could ride. Here she is "Finding Nemo" and riding the "Choo Choo."





That was our weekend in a nutshell.

Emotions

There are those people in life that no matter how angry or mad you get, they always seem to turn it around in an instant.

Bear is like that. She has this way of making anger and sadness melt away.

Like any human being, I do get angry...at her, especially when I've asked her 10 times in a row not to touch something, or when I'm trying to keep her away from something potentially dangerous and she just chooses to endanger herself again and again.

But she has this way of always turning those situations around...and somehow I end up laughing with her, hugging her, enjoying the moment where a few minutes ago I was ready to pop out a vein.

Throughout our day together, I have to keep myself from bursting out laughing because of all the silly things she does when she thinks I'm not looking. Her most recent antic is to yell "Abre! (is that how it's spelled?)" at the most random times, imitating her favorite tv character Dora when she wants things to "Open" like the door, a book, or even at laundry as she throws it up in the air.

Other times when I'm feeling blue, she tries to cheer me up in her own special ways. Often that means offering Sonja or her cup of juice to me. Sometimes if I have to cry, she sits in my lap and cries with me. Once she even offered Sonja's hand to me, because for her sucking on Sonja's hand is comforting.

And I feel for her when she cries...Somehow a broken dish or spilled milk all over the floor just doesn't matter when your child is whimpering and feeling bad for what she did. The comforting hug always comes first...clean up comes later.

So wiping up all sorts of biological messes, finding irreversible pen marks on favorite books, waking up in the middle of the night of an already shortened sleep, is nothing. Realizing that your child needs you and you love your child, is absolutely something.

Bear's Rules to Live By

1) TV Theme songs are for dancing.
2) When playing with toys, it's more fun to pour out the whole box of toys and then pick one.
3) Stickers are for adorning the front door.
4) When traveling from room to room, I must carry Sonja, a blanket, a cup of water, and Snoopy.
5) When I find something new to play with I will drop Sonja, blanket, cup of water and Snoopy.
6) If mommy does it, I must do it too.
7) If there's a mess, just leave it. It magically goes away when I wake up the next morning.
8) Food is more fun to eat when it gets all over the place.
9) Things that happen on Dor@ the Explorer are what really happens in life.
10) What mommy and daddy tell me to do are just guidelines, there's always a loophole.

Thankful for 30

Now that I'm thirty, here's 30 things I'm thankful for:

1) A wonderful husband who always knows when I need a hug.
2) Bear, who makes me laugh on a daily basis.
3) Waking up each morning knowing that it's another day God has blessed me with.
4) My family who knows all of my quirks and still seem to keep me around.
5) The friends near and far that have each touched my life in one form or another.
6) Baby Lee who we can't wait to meet in February (or possibly January).
7) Lots of pillows that I can wedge myself into bed every night.
8) A place that we can call "home" even if the ceiling falls in every now and again.
9) The fact that I always cry on the last scene of "M0nster's Inc."
10) My mom who taught me everything "crafty" as I was growing up...who knew they'd come in handy so often.
11) My artsy sister who if I didn't have her around growing up, I'd always walk out of the house wearing 2 different colors of black.
12) My brother who without I would not know anything about anime, Pl@ystation, or good cheesecake.
13) My 5th grade teacher, who encouraged me to be myself, and still remembers my name to this day when I run into her.
14) Binder clips...I like binder clips...they're so handy.
15) Avocados...yum.
16) Craft stores, of which I could spend hours perusing items I don't need.
17) My guitar, my piano, and for music that helps to soothe my soul.
18) Rainy days, because everything is always so clean after the downpour.
19) Bear's pediatrician, who really knows her stuff, and truly cares for Bear.
20) Quarters...of which without we wouldn't have clean laundry.
21) Noisy neighbors, who help me understand the joy of peace and quiet.
22) People who are extremely down to earth...especially when their position in life would generally cause them to have their head in the clouds.
23) My childhood memories of fun times that I think back on and hope Bear will have a chance to experience.
24) My church, all the good and the bad, and the things I learn week after week.
25) My memories of teaching, my memories of my students, and the things they taught me each week.
26) Those moments when I actually get a chance to brush my hair.
27) Books of all sorts...that I can read to learn or read to relax.
28) God's creativity, that I see everyday, in everyone and everything.
29) My fears, that keep me on my toes, but don't consume me.
30) The trials and challenges in my life, the tears and heartaches, and the joys and sorrows that made me into the person that I am. Thanks.

Of course, I'm thankful for a lot of things...but these are the first 30 that I thought of...I'll close with a picture from Bear's October 31st fun.

For Some Reason...

It's 11 pm and for some reason Bear is still up and running around.

She was fast asleep and then the neighbors upstairs made a horrific noise (sounded like a bookshelf fell over). Ever since then we've been wondering when she'll go back to sleep. She is currently running around the livingroom with a flashlight saying, "Yight Aw (Light On)."

Fun.

Pre-Halloween Chuckle

Here she is...all ready for trick-or-treating!

3 Years...

So it's been 3 years since Matt and I have been married...I can't complain. It's been a good 3 years (with all the ups and downs). We have our 1.5 kids, a cluttered apartment, and lots of happy memories. It's good.

It's kind of weird to think though that it was about 11 and a half years ago when we met (did I do the math right?). He claims that I "picked him up." Well, I did, but I picked him and 3 other people up to drive them to an on-campus fellowship event. After that we went through 4 years of friendship, 4 years of dating and now 3 years of marriage.

Happy Anniversary, Padawanlee!

Traditions...

I've been pulling my hair out trying to decide how to dress Bear for Halloween this year. The reason being that I would love to continue to make Bear's costume again for her. So needless to say, time is running out to make a decision. Last year she was a darling little piggy. This year (only being her second Halloween) I'm stumped.

The reason I'm so adamant about wanting to make Bear's costume myself is because most of the costumes I wore growing up were handmade by my mom. She labored every year at the sewing machine so that my siblings and I could dress up as we pleased. Some of the costumes I remember were quite intricate...the pink flapper dress, the angel costume complete with satin wings and a halo, even the baby bumblebee and wings that my sis wore. So since I now have my mom's old sewing machine, I would love to continue the tradition of homemade Halloweens.

Matt and I have been going back and forth over how to dress Bear. He really wanted to dress her as a Jawa. I wasn't so enthused. He also came up with the idea to dress Bear up in a Sonja costume which most people laugh at the idea (I laughed too - hey, it's funny). Other suggestions are to dress her as some kind of animal, like a bear, a jedi (so I don't have to dress her as a Jawa but it's still Star Wars related), some kind of ballerina or princess to appease her girly-girl nature, or I could just dress her in her purple fairy skirt and wings although I may have to censor her.

So I'm looking for suggestions...any ideas?

Times sure have changed

Matt and I went to a wedding last weekend. It was great. We got to see a good friend from college tie the knot with his longtime love. Beyond that, we also got to see some other friends from our college days, some we haven't seen since college.

You have to understand, we had some interesting college days. I won't go into details, but some of the people we knew were legendary in a sense. They weren't necessarily a legend, but the stories about them were. For those of you reading who went to college with us, you know the people and you know the stories. Some might say "crazy," but to us they were the stories that made us laugh over dorm meals.

Yet, there we all were sitting at two tables at a wedding. Some of those old stories did come out again for us to chuckle over. This time was a little different though. Proud dads were pulling out their phones and PDAs to show off their baby boys and girls. Others shared how they became doctors, businessmen and assistant principals since we last saw them. There were some who moved far, some who bought homes, and some who became newly engaged. Times sure had changed.

I was totally bewildered when I witnessed a group of guys sitting around recommending books on baby sleep training...

...and then they started talking about how excited they were for Starcraft II to come out and discussing when they could get together for a LAN party.

I guess times haven't changed that much.

Being One's Own...

The most common comment we've gotten recently about Bear is "She's soooo independent!" This being said as she is running away from us and running towards other people to say "hi" and show off her Sonja doll. Like today, we went to the mall and she just had to go through the red door (T@lbots). She even started waving to people who were trying to enter or leave the store probably hoping one of them would let her through. Earlier at brunch, the waitress came to take our order and Bear promptly pointed to the menu and told her "Meat...Wice(rice)."

What can I say? She definitely has her own opinions. As much as people tell me that it's a good thing, I find myself battling her day by day. "Do you want to wear the pink or the blue shirt today?" "NO BOO (Blue), NO PICK (Pink)...Dess(Dress- pointing into the closet)." "Eat your sandwich, Bear." "NO, EAT APO-DOS (applesauce)." My cousin even bought her this really cute purple fairy style skirt with wings, and Bear loves it, but she insists taking everything else off in order to wear them. So Bear runs around practically naked with a see-through skirt, a diaper and a pair of wings. So I've been trying to take a picture of her in her little outfit, so I can send it to my cousin, but uh...yeah.

As I've spent the greater part of my life trying to find and accept my own opinion, to avoid being so wishy-washy, it's such a weird concept to me that Bear is just so innately opinionated.

I would never want to squash her opinions, nor the charisma she has. I mean seriously, it took me almost 30 years before I could find my own voice. Although I do realize that my opinions were always there, I just never expressed them because I was just afraid of what people thought of me. So I guess it took me 30 years before I realized that no one really cares, and if they do, then well I shouldn't care. I am just trying to be my own.

And that is something that Bear has shown me well...It's important to just be your own...and not lose yourself to others. And it's important to appreciate others as they are. Otherwise, what's the point of God creating us each so differently?

The Fun Stage

I guess each stage of development has it's fun. Sometimes I find myself longing for those days when Bear would just sit there and I wouldn't have to run after her nor clean up her messes. Having a toddler is fun though...there's so much more we can do with her now.

The Beach - She played in the water, dug in the sand and amassed a collection of "smooshed" sandcrabs. Poor sandcrabs, never had a chance.



The Fair - We went to the County Fair and Bear really loved looking at all the farm animals. She just kept saying, "Mor Dow! (More Cow)" and would "Baa" at all the sheep. She also took a liking to roasted corn and fake snow (yes, one building had fake snow that she got to play with).

Facing Fears - Bear faced her fears this weekend and picked her very own avocado from a tree in a family friends' backyard.



She was so excited, she ran around the yard yelling "tado!" and then would throw the poor thing onto the concrete like it was a football.

So it's been fun with Bear these days...she enjoys all the activities just as much as we do.

Long Weekend...

I teetered back and forth about writing about this especially in such a semi-public way. But I concluded that as much as I'd like for this blog to be light-hearted and filled with Bear's silly little antics, it's also a place where I've been writing about the lessons I've learned as a parent.

As my mom said, we grew an extra layer of skin this past weekend. I'll spare you all the details mostly because I'm sparing myself some tears upon remembering each moment as it happened.

Bear came down with a fever this past weekend...it escalated to the point where she had a febrile seizure. Although I've read about it in books and even as a teacher who is supposed to be trained in dealing with instances of any kind of seizure, I just wasn't prepared. I never felt so at a loss in my life.

I appreciated the people who tended to her (nurses, doctors, paramedics), but I didn't appreciate their constant repetition of the same few phrases...This kind of thing happens all the time...We can't really do much because it's not that big of an emergency...Don't worry, she'll be fine. As much as someone tells you not to worry, it doesn't help...sometimes you just have to worry. Sometimes you just need to feel scared.

So after our brief stint in the hospital, Matt and I were carefully monitoring our sick little girl. I don't think either of us wanted to leave her side at any moment. Even she wouldn't let us leave her sight unless she knew where we were going. We spent the day at home half sleeping, half awake...constantly keeping one eye on Bear.

Monday morning she woke up with a smile, no fever, or any other sign of sickness. She grabbed her doll, her blanket, her cup of water and came to sit in the livingroom just like it was any other day, just as if nothing had ever happened.

Kids are so resilient. I wish I could say the same for myself.

(Bear is fine. We went to the pediatrician on Monday [a wonderful doctor who didn't say anything of the sort like the people at the hospital] and everything checked out fine. Her temperature was normal and there's no sign of an infection. She must have just caught a random virus and unfortunately has the genetic predisposition towards febrile seizures. She is once again her happy-go-lucky self...and possibly a bit more chatty).

The Cry from the Bathroom

Matt usually takes care of bathtime and bedtime. It's his time of day to spend with his little girl. These days I've been using bathtime as clean up time.

Tonight I was in the kitchen tidying up some dishes when I heard Bear start crying. I was a little concerned, but I thought, hmmm, she probably doesn't want to come out of the bath yet.

What actually happened: Matt informed me that Bear looked at her pruney hands, tried to wipe away the wrinkles, even tried to pick them off, and then started crying because they just wouldn't go away.

After her bath, she came running out to me holding out her hands and whimpering. She pointed to the pruney wrinkles and started tearing up. She ran over to the sink and said, "wsh hans(wash hands)" and started to cry again when I told her that it wouldn't help. So I hugged her and assured her that her hands would be okay once she dried off.

Poor kid. I hope this doesn't deter her from taking baths.

Wee!

Here's a conversation we had at a friend's house recently.

Bear: Wee wee!

Friend: Uh, Matt? Does Bear need to use the bathroom?

Matt: Why do you ask?

Friend: She's running around yelling "Wee wee!"

Matt: Oh, no. She's actually saying, "Wii wii." She wants to play the Wii.

Friend: Only your kid would have "Wee" refer to the "Wii."

Bear: Wii wii!